Amy

Greatest fear is the same as everyone else's: falling asleep in public and sleep masturbating

[Amy @RoughDispatch]

Here's a shoddy Review of 2017, 18 days into January, for no flipping reason https://t.co/HaxwasRVQ2

[Becky Holmes hates spinach @deathtospinach]

Oladayo is a potential new love interest

Pros:
- good job
- doesn’t mind my prostitution
- doesn’t put sex first

Cons:
- lives in the USA
- doesn’t say please
- happy for me to give hand jobs in exchange for Amazon cards

It’s a tough one

🤔

[GrieveWatch @GrieveWatch]

London.

[GrieveWatch @GrieveWatch]

Grimsby council tip. Majestic.

[Parody Nigel Farage @Parody_PM]

Water companies are only allowed to dump sewage into our waterways in ‘exceptional circumstances’. During 2021, for example, there were 1,000 exceptional circumstances a day.

[Howard Beckett @HowardRBeckett]

Rishi Sunak, with a reported wealth of over £730ml, told us it was the “right plan” to cut universal credit & raise workers taxes; and “silly” to help with energy costs. At the same time he gave £7.3bl of tax cuts to his banker mates.

The wrong people seek power.

[Ash Sarkar @AyoCaesar]

Not really much of a price cap if it can go from around £1,200 to £4,200 in the space of a year is it.

[Mr Myles @mrgmyles]

@EmmaCookeBooks Every summer I buy several of the same shirts and trousers and a new pair of Vans. Children occasionally come up to me and comment that I wear the same thing every day and my response is “talk me through your outfit.” That generally ends the discussion.

[Chris Pearson @Chris_G_Pearson]

This summer is going to be tough for a lot of families, please #RT it may help someone

[Normal Island News @NormalIslandNws]

BREAKING: The police have explained they will ignore law breaking in Downing Street, but arrest people for protesting law breaking in Downing Street x

[Rory Stewart @RoryStewartUK]

What is going on here?

[ken. @kenkhristine]

“pro life” but no baby formula on the shelves? yeah okay.

[Gary Burton @TheOfficialGRB]

It’s very possible for tradesmen to have open conversations about our feelings, be opposed to racism, read books, recognise the climate crisis, welcome Jamie Oliver wanting our children to eat more healthily, and even on occasions, shop in Waitrose.

[John Simpson @JohnSimpsonNews]

George Orwell, 1984: ‘The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.’