You CANNOT go back in time and change the decisions you took. Forgive yourself, move on, be your best version. You're alive and until death all defeat is psychological.
Rebuild.
all roads lead you back to yourself, to the standards you ignored, the boundaries you softened, the intuition you doubted. life keeps repeating lessons until you finally listen and become a better version of yourself.
at some point you gotta be real with yourself about the gap between the life you want to live and the life that your daily habits are leading you towards.
in order to become a better person, you must first realize how horrible you really are. not in the dramatic sense, but in the quiet ways you sabotage yourself, repeat unhealthy patterns, hurt people who care about you, or tolerate what wounds you. you cannot grow if you keep pretending you’re innocent in the story you’ve created.
Somewhere in your 20s or 30s you’ll get the opportunity to rebuild your life after a negative loop. It's very important that you see that journey through.
Me when love is embarassing merely because of ego and it wouldnt be embarassing if you realized that the purpose of love AND love itself cannot intrinsically prioritize the ego. All the stupid shit you've done for love is beautiful. It was an act of selflessnes.
Sometimes you have to admit you're the reason your life is off track, so you can finally become the reason it gets better. Judge no one, fix yourself, and move forward.