Rachel Collins

[Rachel Collins @RRodefer]

What is life without anxiety fueled insomnia

[Rachel Collins @RRodefer]

Ironic when you are know as a light and a bright spot and as soon as someone goes to put out your light you are dramatic #inmyfeelings #eventhestrongbreak

[Rachel Collins @RRodefer]

Dear @JustPlayToys can Opossum surprise please happen. Between my daughter loving the surprise animals and my husband dislike for Opossums I’m not sure I could ever get a more perfect toy #perfecttoy #underratedanimal #momlife

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

6-year-old: Do monsters like cake?

8-year-old: No.

6: Really?

8: That's why they're monsters.

[Rachel Collins @RRodefer]

When did 6 become the age that you started your bull shit. I really thought I had til the double digits #momlife

[Rachel Collins @RRodefer]

Way to overwhelmed with the no’s at this point. It’s time to start living instead of avoiding dying.....

[Rachel Collins @RRodefer]

My child just hissed at me 😳 #momproblems

[Rachel Collins @RRodefer]

When people find dogs and post them on social media...it takes everything in me not to claim it as my own #ihaveaproblem #dogmom #iwanttolovethemall

[Rachel Collins @RRodefer]

Cleaning playlists just hit different #momlife #dayoff

[Rachel Collins @RRodefer]

A new hairstyle can totally change your mood! #selflove

[Rachel Collins @RRodefer]

At the gym. See KiKi on the T.V. Shocked she is alive. Realize I’m watching Days instead. #devastated #GeneralHospital

[Rachel Collins @RRodefer]

Dear Underwear makers. Please give us women enough fabric to cover our entire vagina. Not just the top muff but my lips too. I’m sick of my shit hanging out. Love always

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

8-year-old: What should we dress up as for trick-or-treating?

Me: I don't know if there's going to be trick-or-treating.

8: Corona went too far.

[Rachel Collins @RRodefer]

@claoo Break my heart why don’t they

[Rachel Collins @RRodefer]

@MacKMurrr 🤮

[Rachel Collins @RRodefer]

Anybody else ready for a legit shut down.....like look us up for a month....then when we come back out we can act normal. Stop fighting each other on EVERYTHING....send kids to school....go to work.....because this momma is ready to throw in the towel

[B.J. Novak @bjnovak]

Hit retweet if you are having trouble sleeping at night (going for a million retweets here)

[Rachel Collins @RRodefer]

@claoo I disliked everything except how soft and pretty they did her makeup. But them pants needed to be fitted

[Rachel Collins @RRodefer]

I love that 90% of my social media is gushing over 2 women, their beauty, and their health. The other 10% are truly showing their jealousy. #HalftimeShow2020 #hellomotivation

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

5-year-old: When you die, do you want to go in a fire or in a box?

Me: Why would you ask that?

5: Just in case.

Me: Build me a pyramid.