Rusty Mcclue

17 // he/him // vent(?) post and stuff// autistic!!

[Rusty Mcclue @Rustymcclue]

Hey guys it's me, the hit character rusty tmirb

[Rusty Mcclue @Rustymcclue]

What's the point of doing any of this anymore? I can't get my feelings out, but I hate being alone. Maybe I should've committed ages ago, maybe all of this is my fault and I'm the problem.

[Rusty Mcclue @Rustymcclue]

What's the point in trying to please or get the approval of somone close to you when they don't notice or just choose somone else? Does it matter if i put effort into any of this anymore? Or will they just not care what happens in the end?
(Kinda targeted)

[Rusty Mcclue @Rustymcclue]

Why do people ask if you feel any diffrent after you age on your birthday like it makes any difference in your life? The only good thing about aging is when you're eventually old enough to buy your own stuff like cigarettes and stuff.

[Rusty Mcclue @Rustymcclue]

I try to makes friends, but even then i still feel alone, is it even worth trying anymore? I've felt alone most of my life, even when I've had tons of people to talk or hangout with

[Rusty Mcclue @Rustymcclue]

I h8 people who over swear, like you don't have to saying "fuck" or "fucking" every other sentence, you're not cool, or edgy.

[Rusty Mcclue @Rustymcclue]

Why do sooo many people enjoy ranch like it's a giift from godd himselff??? It's soo weird tastingg

[Rusty Mcclue @Rustymcclue]

Old people are mad gross

[Rusty Mcclue @Rustymcclue]

@non_calculable Yknow I ublockrd your other account right? >_>

[Rusty Mcclue @Rustymcclue]

Why does it always have to happentome? Why am I the only person to be abandoned by people? This isn't fair, none of this is fair, i don't deserve this, wh6 myst It always be me, I hate it, I hate everyone, I hate myself, why would he do this to me, he knows I I would be like this

[Rusty Mcclue @Rustymcclue]

I'm "too dependent" but you expect me to listen to you after telling me that?

I'm a free person, you clearly don't want me to listen to stuff you tell me to do or not to do.

Maybe I deserve all of this, sh and all, maybe you never actually loved me, but it's fine maybe.

[Rusty Mcclue @Rustymcclue]

Why must I face such things in life? Why did I have to get the short end of the stick? Is all of this some sort of joke where I'm the punchline?
Nobody ever takes my feelings seriously, I've learned that a long time ago. If you don't fit their image, they'll hate you.

[Rusty Mcclue @Rustymcclue]

I can't do this anymore, i can't.

He knows I'm unwell, and he just CHOOSES to abandon me???

I can't just find "better" people I can't just talk to people like that, I thought he understood these things, I thought he loved me, ehy me, WHY does it happen to me.

[Rusty Mcclue @Rustymcclue]

Why is everything so unfair in life, why ? Am I being too selfish,? Is all of this my fault? Maybe if I finally die everything will be bett3r for everyone. Because its clear they don't want me to be around anymore

[Rusty Mcclue @Rustymcclue]

Is there even a point in doing any of this anymore? Why do I have to push myself to talk to them just to feel like they're deliberately avoiding me. Is any of this fair?
I give and I give and I give, even then It feels as if they are nev3r satisfied.

[Rusty Mcclue @Rustymcclue]

What's the point in trying any of this anymore, no matter how hard I try, I feel like I'm never going to match up with how the people I know to accept me, they always expect so much from me, it's exhausting sometimes

[Rusty Mcclue @Rustymcclue]

Is it fine to be jealous when my friend does anything related to other people? Like post and stuff.. I feel like a horrible person for feeling these things, especially because who I'm feeling this jealousy from, what if they're gonna replace me?

[Rusty Mcclue @Rustymcclue]

I feel like I'm not doing enough for my friend, but giving enough, not showing enough. What if he wants to replace me? I feel alone, so alone, but there's nothing I can do about it

[Rusty Mcclue @Rustymcclue]

I feel like non of my other 'friends' stand or compare to my best friend, like, I don't wanna talk to them and stuff as much, or sometimes maybe not at all, am I a bad person for feeling this way?

[Rusty Mcclue @Rustymcclue]

My friend isn't here, I feel lost, what do I do??, I NEED them, is there something wrong with me for feeling this way??? I know they're not gonna be gone forever, but it feels like it, and I hate it, I hate how lonely I feel without them