Ryan Danger Sims

I do jokes and stuff. Comedy writer. Danger’s really my middle name.

[Ryan Danger Sims @RyanDangerSims]

These exercise instructions at the park are maybe the saddest thing I have ever seen.

[Ryan Danger Sims @RyanDangerSims]

I just want my kids to have a better childhood than I did. Fortunately, mine was pretty shitty so the bar is low.

[Ryan Danger Sims @RyanDangerSims]

@BuzzFeed Rivers I will talk in your ear it’s what I do

[Ryan Danger Sims @RyanDangerSims]

@alex_heigl @JordanRuntagh Finally caught up! Keep on coming up with great content!

[Ryan Danger Sims @RyanDangerSims]

@alex_heigl @JordanRuntagh Hey guys, I just wanted to reach out and tell you that I love your Too Much Information podcast! It is my favorite by far, and I recommend it to everyone I know. I even listen to the ads in hopes it will help keep you going! Keep up the great work.

[Ryan Danger Sims @RyanDangerSims]

@BrianStack153 Not sure if you’re into NA beer, but thought I’d send along just in case!

[Ryan Danger Sims @RyanDangerSims]

@DanielleNicki I made a website! https://t.co/GXdgLLmaJG

[Ryan Danger Sims @RyanDangerSims]

@BrianStack153 Absolutely. And the interactive app version is also fantastic!

[Kravitz Glasses @KravitzGlasses]

Pro secret: Only 20 of these buttons actually do anything. The rest are just for show.

[Ryan Danger Sims @RyanDangerSims]

@BeerGogglesnap Brad taking the unpopular “let’s make it Hell on Earth as soon as possible “ approach…

[Ryan Danger Sims @RyanDangerSims]

@BrianStack153 Love watching the Cato scenes with my kids!

[Ryan Danger Sims @RyanDangerSims]

@LizstokedStokes Currently at your LA show waiting for you to perform! Your “Tech” team is doing a fantastic job! 😂 #performanceart #imnotgettingexcited

[Ryan Danger Sims @RyanDangerSims]

@kimcaramele Ohhhhh I see what you did there…

[Ryan Danger Sims @RyanDangerSims]

@kimcaramele I know! Just strolling down the isle and was like 😳

[Ryan Danger Sims @RyanDangerSims]

When I die I’d like to request that my friends and family join together in a woke wake. #WokeWake

[Ryan Danger Sims @RyanDangerSims]

@SuperSweepABC Hi we are so excited to be on tomorrow night! Do you have any nice stills of us to share on social media? So far it’s just been the first teams for Halloween.

[Supermarket Sweep @SuperSweepABC]

On your carts…get set…GO! 🛒 💨 A new season of #SupermarketSweep premieres tonight at 9/8c on ABC and Stream on Hulu.

[Ryan Danger Sims @RyanDangerSims]

This Halloween night tune into ABC Primetime to watch me live out my lifelong dream of frantically throwing meat into a shopping cart. #SupermarketSweep

[Ryan Danger Sims @RyanDangerSims]

@SuperSweepABC ✅

[Ryan Danger Sims @RyanDangerSims]

@Home_Halfway *immediately checks to see if you unfollowed me*

[Ryan Danger Sims @RyanDangerSims]

@Lesdoggg On your way to pick up the EGOT