Scooter Hemingway

When I’m not tweeting too much, I’m probably watching Borussia Dortmund or leaving birdie putts short and settling for pars.

[Scooter Hemingway @RyanJRoose]

Me trying to figure out how to pay for 2 more years of school, 2 years of rent and a new car without selling my organs on the dark web:

[Scooter Hemingway @RyanJRoose]

If his average workday is 8 hours, and he makes $190k per year, he is making just shy of $170/hour.

Maybe he works really hard and his average day is 10 hours. His hourly pay is still $135/hour.

Imagine complaining about a part-time gig that pays $130+/hour

[Rep. Jack Kimble @RepJackKimble]

Just a friendly warning. We don’t even make $200k per year in Congress despite working nearly 140 days. If we aren’t properly compensated, a lot of us will go to the private sector and you will be left with some real idiots in Congress.

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

Congratulations to @CoachDustyMay, Elliot Cadeau, and @UMichBBall on winning their first title since 1989! This team dominated the tournament from start to finish. Well deserved. Go Blue!

[Hernandy D. Morales @hernandy_s]

Everybody does

[Mike @MikeR5577]

Real ones remember his 67-65 shoot out loss to Tate Forcier in 2009.

[Pat Caputo @patcaputo98]

For those wondering where I’ve been: I have been diagnosed with Stage 4 pancreatic cancer, commonly referred to as a “death sentence” and had two other serious ailments which put me in ICU for several days. It was sudden. I’ve literally been on my back for weeks. Bless you all.

[John Burrows @JohnBurrowsCFB]

No they’re not.

If you think you deserve to be in over the Sun Belt Champion, you’re always welcome to prove it by joining the Sun Belt.

If you think you deserve to be in over the Miami, you’re always welcome to prove it by joining the ACC.

If you think you deserve to be in over the American Champion, you’re always welcome to prove it by joining the American.

You’re not special. Join a conference.

[Rodger Sherman @rodger]

it's so stupid that a game between two eliminated teams will decide who makes the NFL playoffs.

clearly they need a better system: having 12 athletic directors wearing cloaks sit in a fancy hotel ballroom and decide which teams get in (one must be Alabama)

[Ba Sing Se @BaSingSeUpdate]

WE HAVE NO OIL IN BA SING SE!!!

[Scooter Hemingway @RyanJRoose]

I hope this guy gets nothing ima be so real. The the way he celebrated when DK “swung” on him was so childish. Take his season tickets away idgaf

[Brendan Howe @bybrendanhowe]

Courtesy of Fox 2 Detroit, Lions fan Ryan Kennedy’s full statement given before questions at his press conference on Friday morning.

Worth noting, he refers to #Steelers WR DK Metcalf by his full first name, which Kennedy said was what bothered Metcalf before their incident on Sunday:

[Scooter Hemingway @RyanJRoose]

@Jbooty88 I really think Biff is genuinely doing anything he can to help hold this program together for as long as possible. He recognizes the gravity of the situation, something the decision makers at UM have missed at every turn. He’s the only one showing ANY urgency at this point.

[Ba Sing Se @BaSingSeUpdate]

Nicki Minaj is banned from Ba Sing Se.

[Scooter Hemingway @RyanJRoose]

How many times in our lives is a rules expert going to come in the broadcast to confirm for lions fans that the officials got it wrong, man? NFL is the only league where this shit happens regularly, man

[Scooter Hemingway @RyanJRoose]

If you wanted to watch the college football playoff rankings show, you’ve been treated to quite a seamless review that had a 2 second impact on a game in a Thanksgiving tournament as far from continental US as you can get without leaving the states

[trev @BayAreaTrev]

“Is Ricky Pearsall injury prone?”

“Shot in chest”

[Big Sky Conference @BigSkyConf]

No thank you

[Scooter Hemingway @RyanJRoose]

@mau_mau348 @JamesYoder If we lost that game because Bryce played like a freshman and just wasn’t ready for the moment, I don’t think ANYONE would be mad or upset.

But losing because we schemed for Davis Warren to be our QB is inexcusable. They set Bryce up for failure on Saturday, plain and simple

[brandon* @brndxix]

just a reminder that doritos locos tacos have lasted longer than the confederacy

[Siraj Hashmi @SirajAHashmi]

Every airplane on Earth:

Emirates Flight 129: LEEEEEEEROYYYYY JENKINNNNNNNNNSSSS

[carmeb @therealcbrad]

I do not want an AI assisted experience I want water in the Colorado river