Ryan Bates

I honestly wear the same 4 pair of pants..... help.

[Ryan Bates @RyanRyanBates]

@Kent_Just You spelt his name wrong....

[Ryan Bates @RyanRyanBates]

Lemon bars are spirit food

[Ryan Bates @RyanRyanBates]

Today I purchased a pack of teeth whitening gum. So naturally I’m now terrified of only chewing in one place and only whitening one tooth. Thanks @OrbitGum

[Ryan Bates @RyanRyanBates]

Ordering at chipotle

Me: can I have a little sour cream

Employee: *one helping spoon full

[Ryan Bates @RyanRyanBates]

There are two types of people in the world. Those who think the @FASTANDFURlOUS9 movie needs more explosions, and those who think @HouseHuntersUSA is exciting enough the way it is.

[Ryan Bates @RyanRyanBates]

@ToriJungwirth You have broke me.

[Ryan Bates @RyanRyanBates]

Look I'm not saying you're stupid, I'm saying your dumb.

[Ryan Bates @RyanRyanBates]

@ToriJungwirth This makes me wish I had a dislike button.

[Ryan Bates @RyanRyanBates]

Everyone else: why are you trying to make it complicated?

Me: why are you trying to make it simple, it's complicated?

[Ryan Bates @RyanRyanBates]

Name something worse than a spider web to the eyes at night.

[Malachi Antoine Viccarrio Burden @malachiburden]

“What percent you on?”

First of all this my charger

[Ryan Bates @RyanRyanBates]

My life is doing half of something then SUDDENLY wondering where I am, what I'm doing, and why I'm doing it.

[Ryan Bates @RyanRyanBates]

Texas weather
Day 1 - 85 degrees
Day 2 - 91 degrees
Day 3 - 94 degrees
Day 4 - 60 degrees

[Ryan Bates @RyanRyanBates]

@LanaDelRey And @ChickfilA should get together to have a charity event called chick-del-ray

[Ryan Bates @RyanRyanBates]

Me: bye dad, i love you!

Dad: I love you like you're my own son.

😳

[Ryan Bates @RyanRyanBates]

Their is nothing worse than someone who waters down the truth so that they find it easier to swallow. Stop being a coward.

[Ryan Bates @RyanRyanBates]

So hear me out, who wants a chocolate chip muffin with cream cheese frosting.

[Ryan Bates @RyanRyanBates]

@TacoBellTeam Anytime t Bell!

[Ryan Bates @RyanRyanBates]

@TacoBellTeam Willis tx

[John Mayer @JohnMayer]

They should let everyone on hold with customer service talk to one another.