As to the Bobcat, that was the universe winking. Let me explain.
Two nights ago I went to visit the cactus. I made it there by sunset and I knew I’d be hiking back in the dark. The full Wolf Moon was obscured by clouds, but I could still see well enough (I don’t ruin night hikes with a headlamp).
After a nice visit, I made my way back to the van. It’s a few miles back, and I found myself thinking about Mountain Lions. They live in the park, I would imagine further into the back country, but their territory range is vast.
I would turn around every so often and think, “Is there a cat watching me?” I wasn’t scared, but vigilant. I felt something.
The next afternoon, and 35 miles West, I drove up a gravel road. There are petroglyphs in this area; I’ve become interested in ancient art as of late. As I rolled up to the trailhead, there was a sign stating this entrance was closed.
I drove further up the road until the gravel looked too soft to ford. I turned around and reluctantly decided to find another way. I was driving by the closed road, and instinctually slowed for a few seconds.
All of a sudden a big healthy Bobcat crossed my path. They are a delight to see, no tail and pointy ears. You could watch them forever, however, it’s not in their nature to allow that. Experts in remaining unseen, these silent pedestrians reveal themselves only to those of their choosing.
I felt so lucky. I was quick enough to score a short clip of its disappearance into the cactus desert. Make sure your sound is on; I’m so happy that trailhead was closed!
Dostoevsky wrote this after nearly being executed:
“When I look back at my life, I feel pain not because of suffering, but because of wasted time. I see how carelessly I lived, how often I ignored the quiet voice of my soul, how rarely I understood the value of a single moment. Only when death stood before me did I realize that life is not merely existence—it is a miracle. Every minute is a treasure, and in every breath, there is the possibility of happiness.”
“Nature loves courage. You make the commitment and nature will respond to that commitment by removing impossible obstacles. Dream the impossible dream and the world will not grind you under, it will lift you up. This is the trick. This is what all these teachers and philosophers who really counted, who really touched the alchemical gold, this is what they understood. This is the shamanic dance in the waterfall. This is how magic is done. By hurling yourself into the abyss and discovering it's a feather bed.”
― Terence McKenna
It’s not companionship you’re truly after; it’s deep alignment. That rare connection where two inner worlds meet and don’t clash, but expand, like placing two mirrors face to face and watching infinity echo between them.
It’s not about just having someone near. It’s about finding someone who reflects your truth and magnifies your becoming. That’s not just love; it’s soul recognition.
The thing about writing is: your mind must be moving slow enough to envision thought succinctly, and your hands moving fast enough to capture thought without impeding its progress.
Anyway, here’s another cactus.