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A close friend of mine is currently back in her parents' house, and the reason behind her marital crisis is making me question how we define respect in our culture.
She has been married for just six months.
Both she and her husband work demanding corporate jobs and split their household bills 50/50.
Last weekend, her mother-in-law arrived in their home completely unannounced.
My friend was exhausted from a brutal work week and was resting.
When the mother-in-law arrived, she bypassed her own son, walked straight into the bedroom, and demanded that my friend get up immediately to cook a fresh, traditional three-course meal for her and the relatives she brought along.
My friend politely told her husband to handle the kitchen or order premium catering because she was unwell.
The mother-in-law took this as an unforgivable insult, screaming that my friend is "submissive to no one" and unfit to be a wife.
Instead of defending his wife, the husband told her to kneel down and apologize to his mother to keep the peace.
My friend refused, packed a bag, and left.
Does marrying an African man mean your comfort always comes second to his family's demands?
I would love to hear from both the men and women on this.
An older cousin is pained and they called to share this with me.
My cousin has been working tirelessly in tech for the past four years, completely transforming his financial situation.
Last month, he finally bought his very first car - a clean, modest foreign-used SUV to help him navigate the chaotic city commute. He didn't boast about it; he just needed it for convenience.
Last week, he drove the car to the village to visit his parents. The moment he arrived, his extended family held an emergency meeting. His uncle formally announced that since my cousin is doing "so well," he needs to hand over his new car to his father to elevate the family's status in the community, and my cousin should go back to the city and buy another one for himself.
When my cousin politely refused, explaining he used his savings, the family labeled him "selfish," "arrogant," and claimed he is inviting a curse on his career for disrespecting his elders.
Should he have just surrendered the car out of respect and cultural duty?
An older cousin is pained and they called to share this with me.
My cousin has been working tirelessly in tech for the past four years, completely transforming his financial situation.
Last month, he finally bought his very first car - a clean, modest foreign-used SUV to help him navigate the chaotic city commute. He didn't boast about it; he just needed it for convenience.
Last week, he drove the car to the village to visit his parents. The moment he arrived, his extended family held an emergency meeting. His uncle formally announced that since my cousin is doing "so well," he needs to hand over his new car to his father to elevate the family's status in the community, and my cousin should go back to the city and buy another one for himself.
When my cousin politely refused, explaining he used his savings, the family labeled him "selfish," "arrogant," and claimed he is inviting a curse on his career for disrespecting his elders.
Should he have just surrendered the car out of respect and cultural duty?
@Animalizum Was she the initial driver? Or someone explain why the initial driver would live the engines running... of it's not the movie final destination.
An older cousin is pained and they called to share this with me.
My cousin has been working tirelessly in tech for the past four years, completely transforming his financial situation.
Last month, he finally bought his very first car - a clean, modest foreign-used SUV to help him navigate the chaotic city commute. He didn't boast about it; he just needed it for convenience.
Last week, he drove the car to the village to visit his parents. The moment he arrived, his extended family held an emergency meeting. His uncle formally announced that since my cousin is doing "so well," he needs to hand over his new car to his father to elevate the family's status in the community, and my cousin should go back to the city and buy another one for himself.
When my cousin politely refused, explaining he used his savings, the family labeled him "selfish," "arrogant," and claimed he is inviting a curse on his career for disrespecting his elders.
Should he have just surrendered the car out of respect and cultural duty?
An older cousin is pained and they called to share this with me.
My cousin has been working tirelessly in tech for the past four years, completely transforming his financial situation.
Last month, he finally bought his very first car - a clean, modest foreign-used SUV to help him navigate the chaotic city commute. He didn't boast about it; he just needed it for convenience.
Last week, he drove the car to the village to visit his parents. The moment he arrived, his extended family held an emergency meeting. His uncle formally announced that since my cousin is doing "so well," he needs to hand over his new car to his father to elevate the family's status in the community, and my cousin should go back to the city and buy another one for himself.
When my cousin politely refused, explaining he used his savings, the family labeled him "selfish," "arrogant," and claimed he is inviting a curse on his career for disrespecting his elders.
Should he have just surrendered the car out of respect and cultural duty?