Sable Sylvan bear-anormal #paranormalromanceauthor

i write books where dudes who turn into bears get with curvy girls. #BearShifters. #BBWs. #FairyTales. #ParanormalRomance

[Sable Sylvan bear-anormal #paranormalromanceauthor @SableSylvan]

Books: https://t.co/gVyVGp3oJt Shirts: https://t.co/wBre4mvNWx #BearShifters 🐻 #BBWs ⏳ #FairyTales 👸 #TrueLove 💝 #ItsThatSimple 💞.

[Sable Sylvan bear-anormal #paranormalromanceauthor @SableSylvan]

jenga but with twin mattresses

[Sable Sylvan bear-anormal #paranormalromanceauthor @SableSylvan]

me: gimme a porsche
husband: you barely use the balcony

[Sable Sylvan bear-anormal #paranormalromanceauthor @SableSylvan]

not all heroes wear crêpes

[Sable Sylvan bear-anormal #paranormalromanceauthor @SableSylvan]

landlord: what’s with all the moaning
dominatrix: ghosts

[Sable Sylvan bear-anormal #paranormalromanceauthor @SableSylvan]

me: i miss having class outside
also me: you have a porch and you wfh

[Sable Sylvan bear-anormal #paranormalromanceauthor @SableSylvan]

me, turning on the porch light for my husband: Gondor calls for aid

[Sable Sylvan bear-anormal #paranormalromanceauthor @SableSylvan]

"I know what you are."
"Say it."
"My secret Santa." #Twilight

[Sable Sylvan bear-anormal #paranormalromanceauthor @SableSylvan]

eat ass like groceries

leave it in the crisper drawer and forget to eat it before it goes soggy and you have to throw it out

[Sable Sylvan bear-anormal #paranormalromanceauthor @SableSylvan]

me: shirts on, turts on
husband: turts?
me: turtles

[Sable Sylvan bear-anormal #paranormalromanceauthor @SableSylvan]

me: I’m here on a mission of bees
The @UN : don’t you mean ‘mission of peace?’
me: uh —
*buzzing sound intensifies* 🐝

[Sable Sylvan bear-anormal #paranormalromanceauthor @SableSylvan]

#FinancialFreedom save money. don’t buy bras. have someone just walk around behind you holding them up. taking applications now.

[Sable Sylvan bear-anormal #paranormalromanceauthor @SableSylvan]

not sure if I wanna fuck @paulruddcom or if I just want his skincare routine

[Sable Sylvan bear-anormal #paranormalromanceauthor @SableSylvan]

cyberpunk future better have Kevlar breast implants or I will hoot and holler

[Sable Sylvan bear-anormal #paranormalromanceauthor @SableSylvan]

if my card gets declined at the waxing salon...do they just glue everything back on?

[Sable Sylvan bear-anormal #paranormalromanceauthor @SableSylvan]

Long bob? Did you mean a Robert?

[Sable Sylvan bear-anormal #paranormalromanceauthor @SableSylvan]

@euny Ursula has entered the chat. Always knew you were a Disney princess. I just wouldn’t have guessed Ariel. I don’t think I’d ever catch you brushing your hair with a fork. Bad nunchi.

[Sable Sylvan bear-anormal #paranormalromanceauthor @SableSylvan]

“ain’t no rest for the wicked”
wow way to gatekeep and night owl shame

[Sable Sylvan bear-anormal #paranormalromanceauthor @SableSylvan]

I didn’t go to #sexed I went to AP Sexual Edward

[Sable Sylvan bear-anormal #paranormalromanceauthor @SableSylvan]

mer-lennials

[Sable Sylvan bear-anormal #paranormalromanceauthor @SableSylvan]

hewlett packard lovecraft