Airiel D Salvatore

Learning how to get leverage over life. Sharing what I learn plus insights along the way. Building the Maieutic Mentor. Post-op Detransitioner.

[Airiel D Salvatore @Sackless_Jack]

We are the interpreters of our own feelings. Not the authors of them.

For those like me with gender dysphoria.

The solution is to understand, at its core, what is causing it objectively.

Only when you fully understand what the source of your gender dysphoria is and have made peace with your reality could social or physical transition be of any real long term benefit.

Otherwise you are rolling dice.🎲

If the cause is related to gender stereotypes you don’t want to be apart of, then build the confidence to be your authentic self in despite those expectations.

Not force yourself into the opposite gender stereotype or change your body to fit.

By far the most effective way to alleviate gender dysphoria is to:

- Stop reinforcing antiquated gender stereotypes by telling kids they might be a different gender if they don’t fit neatly into a box.

- Make it clear there is no wrong way to be a boy and no wrong way to be a girl.

- Let them go through natural puberty.

In the majority of cases, gender dysphoria desists with puberty.

We need to find the root cause of the discomfort and what is causing the incongruence between how they feel and their biological reality .

I was traumatized as a kid by my meth addict father who made it very clear I wasn’t a man.

I would freeze up in fear when he would regularly explode at me in a meth withdrawal induced outburst.

I copped by retreating into my own head, hardcore disassociation.

He antagonized and taunted me with…

“Say something!

Be a man!

Why aren’t you saying anything?!

Are you a girl?

Huh?!

Do you want to be a girl?!!”

In that state of dissociation I would just repeated to myself.

“I wish I was a girl, he wouldn’t treat me like this if I was a girl”

This went on for months.

I was 7 years old.

It set my life trajectory.

I was hell bent on getting as far away from my father’s version of “manhood” as I could.

I didn’t realize I was just redefining myself in terms of his gender stereotypes.

Combine that with an environment that reinforces those stereotypes and only affirms one’s feelings instead of digging deep.

You’ll have a large number of kids and people like me seeking treatment, that are being sold on false promises and instant relief.

Being non the wiser that it’s almost certainly going to just make the real problem even harder to find, understand, and treat.

They won’t even know it at first.

The honey moon phase of hormones and surgeries lasts a long time.

Took me 18 years of hormones and 10 years after bottom surgery before I realized what had happened to me.

What the actual cause of my gender dysphoria was.

Abuse.

Transitions shouldn’t be fueled a desire to escape.

If you feel as though you must change your body to feel better, you are escaping.

The compassionate thing to do is to help people become comfortable with their biological reality by helping them build the confidence to be their authentic self despite those imposed rigid gender stereotypes.

Instead we seem to be trying to liberate people from reality with luxury beliefs at great cost.

Giving someone what they think they want in the moment at the expense of their long term well being isn’t compassion.

It’s maladaptive empathy manifesting as self righteousness.

I still experience gender dysphoria every single day.

But it no longer rules my life because I’ve embraced my reality.

My transition got in the way of healing. ❤️‍🩹

[Airiel D Salvatore @Sackless_Jack]

I’ve personally made my life unnecessarily difficult for decades longer than I needed to because I was continuously borrowing from my feature self.

I denied the reality that the bill was inevitably going to come due.

When it finally did my whole life fell to pieces.

It’s taken 3 years to get back on my feet and that’s only because I’ve made it a priority to invest in my future self with the decisions I make in the present.

[Airiel D Salvatore @Sackless_Jack]

@WeriBomb If it’s on the side near the hip it’s from the grip tape of a skateboard.

[Airiel D Salvatore @Sackless_Jack]

@genspect @SorenAldaco @TullipR @LauraBeckerReal It was an honor!

Thanks for giving me space to share

[Mia Hughes @_CryMiaRiver]

A very succinct depiction of modern gender medicine.

It's just extreme body modification, on demand, for whomever wants it, for whatever reason.

No distress required. In fact, treating "gender dysphoria" is old-fashioned and pathologizing.

Now doctors are just helping patients achieve their "embodiment goals" and the patients get to pick and choose from a shopping list of health-destroying medical interventions.

And WPATH defines it all as "medically necessary" so it's all covered on insurance! Amazing. What could possibly go wrong?

(I do, however, suspect this man may have omitted an important motivation of the erotic variety which he's perfectly able to do because the field of gender-affirming care pretends autogynephilia doesn't exist)

[Airiel D Salvatore @Sackless_Jack]

I’ve been reading Principles by @RayDalio

There are a lot of bangers in this book.

“Maturity is the ability to reject good alternatives in order to pursue even better ones”

[Airiel D Salvatore @Sackless_Jack]

@ChloeCole They can threaten our lives.

Slow us down.

Disrupt our events.

But they can never make us stop telling our stories.

We will continue to share the light on the other side of detransition.

There is a way out for every gender confused person.

Thanks @ChloeCole

[Airiel D Salvatore @Sackless_Jack]

@thehoffather Detransitioners like @ChloeCole and I will be treated like apostates every time we speak about our experience publicly.

When your sense of security rest on your group identity then you have removed the incentive to think for yourself.

[Airiel D Salvatore @Sackless_Jack]

@PNWConservative @thehoffather @AdamsUnchained Detransitioners like @ChloeCole and I will be treated like apostates every time we speak about our experience publicly.

When your sense of security rest on your group identity then you have removed the incentive to think for yourself.

[Airiel D Salvatore @Sackless_Jack]

@Objectobot

[Airiel D Salvatore @Sackless_Jack]

It’s not a quick fix.

It’s a skill you must practice.

If you’re a parent who’s hit a wall and wants help.

I offer 1:1 consulting.

DM me or reply here — I’ve been exactly where your kid is.

What’s the hardest part of talking to your kid right now?

9/9

[Airiel D Salvatore @Sackless_Jack]

Tried explaining the risks?

- hormones
- surgery
- desistance stats

Only for them to shut down, lash out, or withdraw even more?

You’re not alone.

Here’s why facts usually backfire. and what actually works instead.

🧵 1/9

[Airiel D Salvatore @Sackless_Jack]

This builds trust.

It models curiosity.

Over time, it expands their comfort zone so they can examine the real roots of their distress instead of escaping into a new identity.

8/9

[Brad @BradleyKellard]

In 2002, Jordan Peterson gave a 1hr lecture on how to kill fear & unlock exponential growth in your life.

His frameworks:
- Fear shrinks when faced
- Ignored problems grow
- Treasure hides in chaos

15 lessons that will help you conquer anxiety & weakness:

[Airiel D Salvatore @Sackless_Jack]

@SwipeWright Intelligence is always in service of a goal.

When your goal is to make yourself feel secure instead of trying to bring your beliefs ever closer inline with reality, then we can easily blind ourselves to what’s right in front of us.