Sailor Monkey

Hand-crafted tweets since 1904

[Sailor Monkey @SailorMonkey]

They can keep the movie. I’m only here for the limited edition Melania popcorn bucket.

[Sailor Monkey @SailorMonkey]

@MitchellWeber12 @Ticketek_AU Same but at ~700 in line. No idea on the availability, though.

[Sailor Monkey @SailorMonkey]

It's 'Whoopibeth'

[Sailor Monkey @SailorMonkey]

@markhumphries @GWR Can you confirm, please ?

[Sailor Monkey @SailorMonkey]

@shaunmicallef I'm just here for the free GIF

[Sailor Monkey @SailorMonkey]

@markMGgeyer @TripleMMelb just a heads up your FB has been hacked and someone has set up a rogue website with your name on it. The comment leads to this website https://t.co/ab3JdFCJ4f
The page prompts ‘winners’ to provide credit card details.

[tweet davidson @andyreed]

when guys become dads they’re sorted into one of these four houses like in harry potter

[Sailor Monkey @SailorMonkey]

@mrtonymartin Still can’t put that Gameboy down, Tony.

[doomer @uncledoomer]

doing this at every table at the flea market before leaving without buying anything

[Sailor Monkey @SailorMonkey]

@myer I have a query about an exclusive offer email. Can I DM you about it, please?

[Sailor Monkey @SailorMonkey]

All you need for a @newscomauHQ headline is to count words. It's that easy!

[Sailor Monkey @SailorMonkey]

@dooktwit @CrikeyCon Thanks :) Just wasn't sure if there was a need to pre-register our team is all.

[Sailor Monkey @SailorMonkey]

These new Baby-Sitters Club books are getting out of hand!

[Sailor Monkey @SailorMonkey]

Pretty judgy for someone who goes around peeping into people’s windows at night, Willie.

[Sailor Monkey @SailorMonkey]

It’s getting all Xanadu up in here! #HalftimeShow

[Sailor Monkey @SailorMonkey]

@Lost7310 @Morbidful It was wholemeal... WHOLEMEAL!!

[Tony Martin @mrtonymartin]

Landed harmlessly in sea off Japan.

[Sailor Monkey @SailorMonkey]

The Lindt Master Chocolatier (the most sinister of all the chocolatiers), developing his telekinesis powers from his secret lair.

[Sailor Monkey @SailorMonkey]

I think the best thing about playing in a band with lots of guitars is when the guitar players stand close to each other