Sam Johnson

Madam, sir, baby, child, whatever.

[Sam Johnson @SAJohnson94]

https://t.co/KVomVtegUM

[Sam Johnson @SAJohnson94]

@ErinPhelps19 Hey, this is Sam from Soc. Can you please follow me so I can DM you? I have a question.

[Sam Johnson @SAJohnson94]

Customer Service http://t.co/0lA2qdrS

[HipsterPastor @HipsterPastor]

Serving as a chaplain at #ComicCon. I see Christ in all these people. Probably because they're bearded virgins that society rejects.

[Sam Johnson @SAJohnson94]

I was told it was a pool party http://t.co/G8k8ukbC

[Neil deGrasse Tyson @neiltyson]

Does it disturb anyone else that "The Los Angeles Angels" baseball team translates directly to "The The Angels Angels"?

[Sam Johnson @SAJohnson94]

I love Olivia @ollieb1953

[Shaina Shroll @ShainaShroll]

There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind. #cslewis

[Sam Johnson @SAJohnson94]

Why is @xoxohannahlily the coolest person ever?

[#1 Tubitv.com Fan Will Weldon @oldmanweldon]

"I guess you're right." - No one on the internet

[Neil deGrasse Tyson @neiltyson]

"@marycucumber What are some problems with visiting Mercury? Is it just the temperature?" No. You need a space program too.

[Mike @__MICHAELJ0RDAN]

Some guy got my phone number and keeps texting "Remember Space Jam?". I dont need this.

[Sam Johnson @SAJohnson94]

“Fairy Tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” - G.K.C.

[Sam Johnson @SAJohnson94]

Garden Gnomes may not make you feel good but crack sure does -- Riley G.

[Sam Johnson @SAJohnson94]

@Travis_Warrner perhaps they share the same genetic memory

[Sam Johnson @SAJohnson94]

I AM THE NATION'S TOP FUN-HAVER! -- SEÑOR JUGO FRESCO

[Sam Johnson @SAJohnson94]

@Travis_Warrner no

[Sam Johnson @SAJohnson94]

RIP Sam Johnson: Caring Husband, Loving Friend, Slap Bet Commissioner

[Sam Johnson @SAJohnson94]

So what am I supposed to do with all these muffins?

[Sam Johnson @SAJohnson94]

So Katy Perry is single again. I know what my New Year's Resolution is.