Sall

If it ain't broke, you ain't hitting hard enough

[Sall @Sall_acious]

When you're trying to type "shitshow" but your phone appears to be having a panic attack.

[Sall @Sall_acious]

To the tune of "Walking on Broken Glass":
🎶Having a, having a, panic attaaaack🎶

[Sall @Sall_acious]

Gotta ask @heyestrid why if I exert any pressure when using your razor, the blade falls off. Sick if it falling off seven times per shave and nearly cutting myself picking it back up.

[Sall @Sall_acious]

I hear a lot of music where the lyrics are about counting the steps someone takes when they walk away. Is this actually a thing?

[Sall @Sall_acious]

I hate Peppa Pig

[Sall @Sall_acious]

I wonder if my breakdown cover covers depression.

[Sall @Sall_acious]

Life has a weird way of making you question everything. Unfortunately it's happening on the daily for me and I'd honestly prefer some rest than yet more daily confusion.

[Sall @Sall_acious]

I got back on this app to search for something, couldn't find it, found something else, and now I'm mad. Why am I here again?

[Sall @Sall_acious]

It's getting even better! @ee come sort your shit out the conflicting information is incredible.

[Sall @Sall_acious]

Look at this stellar service from @EE taking the absolute piss out of NHS workers! Just fantastic let's all give them a round of applause.

[Sall @Sall_acious]

@JamesMarstersOf my daughter keeps calling this "sushi" so have fun with that

[Sall @Sall_acious]

Sup. Been a while.

[Sall @Sall_acious]

@hannahkayn Was really nice of Daniel Radcliffe to write Harry potter for us.

[Sall @Sall_acious]

Hey @UKLabour did you really think that decision would win you the vote of all the previous labour supporters that voted for jezza in the last GE? What a bunch of idiots. Thanks for making damn sure we get more time with the idiot Tories.

[Jordan Raskopoulos @JordanRasko]

When you tip off the cops
With your big pizza box
That’s Amore

[Sall @Sall_acious]

All I want is the Lego Hogwarts but it's like £400 😭

[Sall @Sall_acious]

@hannahkayn @jharrisphoto I promise to murder you if you get the bear back.

[Sall @Sall_acious]

@hannahkayn @jharrisphoto Fan fucking tastic

[Sall @Sall_acious]

@hannahkayn @jharrisphoto I believe in you

[Sall @Sall_acious]

Today can get in the bin. Haven't had time to do a single thing and now my watch is broken. So pissed off.

[Sall @Sall_acious]

Wow I ain't tweeted shit in ages.