Sam

I make the money, man. I roll the nickels. The game is mine. I deal the cards.

[Sam @SamBlumer989]

NASA has announced they can now turn 98% of pee into Voodoo Ranger

[Dexerto @Dexerto]

NASA has announced they can now turn 98% of pee into drinking water

[SimpleSCOTUS is yearning for democracy @SimpleSCOTUS]

Moore v. Harper (2023)

[Adam Friedland @AdamFriedland]

Looks like I’m being attacked again in the media

[Berwyn Choobs @sabatonfan69]

(Overrun by zombies)

My gf: we’re dead!

(The wall explodes & a silhouette takes shape)

Me: L-Lucario? 😳

My gf hugs it: you came!

Me squeezing between them: You know him? 🙂

Her: We dated in college

Me: What the fuck?😡

Her: Nows not the ti-

Me: It’s basically an animal

[Berwyn Choobs @sabatonfan69]

Me and the taco bell drive thru guy when I pull up for the second time of the day

[Sam @SamBlumer989]

Twitter blue ruined Twitter.

[Kevin Sanji @kevsanji]

to Catch a Predator but Chris Hansen is hungry af

[Sam @SamBlumer989]

These replies are deeply disturbing

[Stew Peters @realstewpeters]

What is this strange picture?

[Sam @SamBlumer989]

The MLB from 1994-2004>>>>

[Sam @SamBlumer989]

Boney M. supremacy

[Sam @SamBlumer989]

You’re in her dms
I say “oopsie” when I drop things, and she finds it endearing.
We are not the same.

[Sam @SamBlumer989]

@Wes453 You have had 0 misses recently

[The Associated Press @AP]

April is the cruelest month, breeding lilacs out of the dead land, mixing memory and desire, stirring dull roots with spring rain. https://t.co/3ID91uMXvn

[SimpleSCOTUS is yearning for democracy @SimpleSCOTUS]

California v. Greenwood (1988)

[Sam @SamBlumer989]

He’s pandering to Gen Z after the M&M thing

[Kat Abughazaleh @KatAbughazaleh]

my dude was ON ONE tonight

(seriously, this was all just from tonight)

[Sam @SamBlumer989]

My goal for this year it to be built exactly like this guy

[Historic Vids @historyinmemes]

Soviet water polo player Petre Kako Mshvenieradze with his grandson, 1990s

[Sam @SamBlumer989]

The Cure really made Fascination Street and then decided to stop making good music

[layne.diff @laynediff]

@nojumper Seizure caused be hallucinogenic chemicals released normally in the preface of death? Seizure would explain the muscle tension and neck crank?