Kronktacular™

(no longer) Scared of tiddies

[Kronktacular™ @SamEisen1]

Sugar mamma who will buy me air jordans please save me if you can hear me sugar mamma who will buy me air jordans

[Kronktacular™ @SamEisen1]

I’m like sherlock holmes but if instead of solving crime, he smoked Newports

[Kronktacular™ @SamEisen1]

I live a life of luxury

[𝘤𝘳𝘰𝘮 @cromafterdark]

not sure if I've reposted these here

[Bam Stroker @dangimdamp]

Skinamarink fans are like “I love this part!!”

[Kronktacular™ @SamEisen1]

Denim chastity belt

[Kronktacular™ @SamEisen1]

All the Taco Bells in my area only use one drive-thru window for both payment and food, as opposed to one for each. It’s the cloaca of fast food

[Kronktacular™ @SamEisen1]

I would NOT cut it in caveman times. One headache and I would kill myself with a rock

[Kronktacular™ @SamEisen1]

Felis catus

[Kronktacular™ @SamEisen1]

I LOVE THE CAT FANCIER’S ASSOCIATION

[Kronktacular™ @SamEisen1]

I have survivors guilt from being the only sperm that made it

[Kronktacular™ @SamEisen1]

Pipe down shawty, me and the voices are talking

[Kronktacular™ @SamEisen1]

Hook line and sphincter

[Kronktacular™ @SamEisen1]

My favorite cryptid is the clown that hides from gay people

[Kronktacular™ @SamEisen1]

Not all heroes wear capes, some of us wear lifeguard hoodies on campus

[Brooks Otterlake @i_zzzzzz]

Oh yeah sorry babe, I had to unplug the TV. I'm 99 percent sure Homer looked at me. He saw me

[Kronktacular™ @SamEisen1]

QUEEN ELIZABETH HAS DIED

[Kronktacular™ @SamEisen1]

Boys walk on campus. MEN ride electric scooters and also have a bad podcast with their friends and also catch feelings for whatever girl has been polite to them recently.

[Kronktacular™ @SamEisen1]

God gave men’s pants larger pockets to make it easier for us to shoplift