Sam Ficco

My grandma thinks I'm terrible. My grandpa thought she was crazy. I use twitter as an open diary. I hate group chats with more than 3 people.

[Sam Ficco @Samficco]

Please enjoy this video of Selah peeking around the corner.

[Sam Ficco @Samficco]

From now on, when people ask what my “type” is, I’m just going to show them this @LLBean model.

[Sam Ficco @Samficco]

It’s October 28. 😏

[Sam Ficco @Samficco]

When you talk to someone for a few months and then get ghosted… Can you tell I’m over it? Just be honest. 🙃

[Sam Ficco @Samficco]

@poquithomas Who told you that????

[Sam Ficco @Samficco]

Mom: WHAT THE HECK SAMANTHA, do I need to say that I’ll buy you @jonasbrothers tickets if you go out with this guy?
Me: wait, will you really?
Mom: yes, omg.

[Sam Ficco @Samficco]

Dad: See, when God sees you need a man, he’ll send one your way.

Me: That’s the thing though, he knows I don’t NEED one.

[Sam Ficco @Samficco]

Gonna play “what can I get away with as a 28 year old on family vacation” over the next week. Stay tuned.

[Sam Ficco @Samficco]

I finally went to the dentist after 9 years (like, Barack Obama was president the last time I went). Ya girl had 0 cavities and the hygienist said I had “minimal build up considering how long it’s been.”

So yeah, brush your teeth and actually floss every day, kids.

[Sam Ficco @Samficco]

“It’s like a freakin whack a mole.”
“I tickled that man’s hair.”
@bemoroz during the @kingskworld concert.

[Sam Ficco @Samficco]

When the coffee truck you love, loves you back. ❤️❤️❤️

[Sam Ficco @Samficco]

The pettiness lives on.

[Sam Ficco @Samficco]

Today a parent told me I look even younger in person than I do over Google Meet.

[Sam Ficco @Samficco]

Apparently nothing can be kept secret in my family. 🙃

[Sam Ficco @Samficco]

@rivertoast533 Lol grandmas are the only people who can say things like that

[Sam Ficco @Samficco]

Dating advice from my grandma:
It’ll warm up soon. Put on your little bathing suit, and go to the beach. You’ll have a boyfriend in no time.

[Sam Ficco @Samficco]

I have to say, this is probably more reasonable than when she said she was going to stick my face on a billboard that would read, “Someone marry her.”

[Sam Ficco @Samficco]

My mom just yelled at a random girl in target asking why she was looking at tubs because she thought it was me. The girl is fine, she laughed when she realized what happened.

[Sam Ficco @Samficco]

My mom’s Christmas gift finally arrived. She loves it.

[Sam Ficco @Samficco]

I started Never Have I Ever. Mandy was right. I loved it. Cleansed me from the 4 hours of garbage I watched before it.

[Sam Ficco @Samficco]

2 days into isolation I decided to watch all the twilight movies because why the heck not? I needed something to laugh at. This was the review I sent to @mmficco