Samuel

Talk with your feet, play with your heart ⚽️⚽️⚽️

[Samuel @SamForthofer]

Ran a half marathon just so my parents would buy me Arbys after

[Fabrizio Romano @FabrizioRomano]

🚨 BREAKING: Xabi Alonso has accepted to become Chelsea next manager, HERE WE GO! 🔵🔜

The agreement is set to be completed.

#CFC prepare official announcement for the upcoming days, but Xabi said YES. 💣

[Ayoola @AreYourOrLah]

An unhappy Chelsea fan that knows no joy since the day Russia invaded Ukraine.

[Mike Beauvais @MikeBeauvais]

Nobody can do another bracket after this.

I don't even care what the topic is. It's perfect.

Take a bow, everybody.

[splat 🛡️🌳🐉 @zaryaismywife]

new doordash restaurant just dropped that only has 2 menu items

[Samuel @SamForthofer]

@brfootball @FabrizioRomano I can’t get too excited, I made that mistake with Malang Sarr

[internet hall of fame @InternetH0F]

this dude was spittin

[Gump @MrTaylorWayne]

HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW

NOW THAT IM ON MY WAY

DO YOU STILL THINK IM CRAZY

STANDING HERE TODAY

[Kyle Becker @kylenabecker]

PAUL HARVEY'S LETTER TO HIS GRANDCHILDREN

“We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I'd like better.

I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would.

I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.

I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.

And I really hope nobody gives you a brand-new car when you are sixteen.

It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.

I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.

I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.

When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her.

I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.

On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.

If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.

I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.

When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.

I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy/girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.

May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove, and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.

I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it... And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he/she is not your friend.

I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.

May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.

I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.

These things I wish for you are tough times and disappointment, hard work, and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.”

[Samuel @SamForthofer]

@Blue_Footy Marcos Alonso

[Chelsea FC USA @ChelseaFCinUSA]

“OH MY GOODNESS ME!”

With #CheArs after the break, who could forget this Eden goal 🤩

[✞ 🇵🇹 @CFCRaf2]

Every single day.

[Roman Helmet Guy @romanhelmetguy]

Women will spend all their lives fantasizing about living in Italy, and never once think about the Roman Empire.

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

Dan Campbell

1-0
https://t.co/x4YgL7sBYU

[PFT Commenter @PFTCommenter]

Cool Jimmy Buffet story- one time he was flying his own plane to Jamaica with Bono (as one does) and the Jamaican authorities misidentified his plane as being a weed smugglers plane and they opened fire on it with automatic weapons as he was trying to land it in the bay. He landed and they boarded his plane and realized it was Jimmy buffet and bono. Instead of complaining, Jimmy was like “nbd I’ve probably gotten away with a lot of stuff I should have been caught for”. And instead of suing them he just wrote a song called “Jamaica mistakea” about it and vibed. Absolute legend

[Chelsea FC @ChelseaFC]

We are bidding an emotional farewell to a Chelsea great.

Thank you for everything, @CesarAzpi. 💙

[César Azpilicueta @CesarAzpi]

💙

[R🪁🇦🇷 @Re7ceRevivaI]

i will never forget you 😔

[Samuel @SamForthofer]

@UTSources I got dup casimero from the cup, traded him in for the pl pack, and got zinchenko 🙃

[Samuel @SamForthofer]

“This isn’t proper Chels”