Sam Porter Bridges

America's finished. We don't need a country, not anymore.

[Sam Porter Bridges @SamHasDOOMS]

@eatinginmycar “I’m breastfeeding” might work regardless of sex

[Sam Porter Bridges @SamHasDOOMS]

@AmbJohnBoIton Do the employees still wear masks? I would feel like a real asshole if they were and I wasn’t. That’s why I still can’t sit down and eat at a restaurant here even though I’m already microchipped.

[Sam Porter Bridges @SamHasDOOMS]

@BoneJail Impossible to tell if you misspelled “skunk” or if you were chasing a lizard

[Sam Porter Bridges @SamHasDOOMS]

@elivalley I heard he requests toothbrushes and slippers too what an aristocrat

[Sam Porter Bridges @SamHasDOOMS]

@KimberlyLuttman @BadBunnyTwitch @bethbourdon Not sure what the heck you’re talking about peace brother

[Sam Porter Bridges @SamHasDOOMS]

@insufficentfund The parents AND the teachers? We're fucked

[Sam Porter Bridges @SamHasDOOMS]

@VicBergerIV @mattyglesias Victor it's not a grift it's a lifestyle and this is potentially embarassing to other adult diaper baby people

[Sam Porter Bridges @SamHasDOOMS]

@kenklippenstein has anyone in the united states ever said "hard left" unless they were giving driving directions

[Sam Porter Bridges @SamHasDOOMS]

@kenklippenstein is the hill a UK publication

[Sam Porter Bridges @SamHasDOOMS]

@AmbJohnBoIton captain queefheart and beatloaf

[Sam Porter Bridges @SamHasDOOMS]

@bigblackjacobin Queef Fartlow has anyone said this yet

[Sam Porter Bridges @SamHasDOOMS]

@SWAIM_CORP @SomeMoreNews Little "peek behind the curtain" as we call it in The Biz

[Sam Porter Bridges @SamHasDOOMS]

@adoptedhighway great now he's gonna sound like a MENSA member you should have fortified his charisma/personality

[Sam Porter Bridges @SamHasDOOMS]

@TJMuessig Booty Bubble

[Sam Porter Bridges @SamHasDOOMS]

@asthompson

[Sam Porter Bridges @SamHasDOOMS]

@Watchman_5 @iggykoopa666 Number of Grown Dragons

[Sam Porter Bridges @SamHasDOOMS]

@adoptedhighway white tee

so you can see exactly where the government has shot me

[Sam Porter Bridges @SamHasDOOMS]

@MDaware @KWholesaler They’re not related to the Marios, idiot!