Sam Markson

Melts in your mouth, not in your hands.

[Sam Markson @SamiamMarkson]

Hi…

[Sam Markson @SamiamMarkson]

Ate no food and drank way too much caffeine today and now I think my brain is going to explode and I can’t stop remembering embarrassing shit I did when I was 14

[Sam Markson @SamiamMarkson]

Just finished the last exam I ever have to take ever. I feel so free, like I can jump off a building and start flying away

[Sam Markson @SamiamMarkson]

Talking to the roomies:
“Sam’s the only one that has like a proper beard.”

Not really but the compliment stuck 🥹

[Sam Markson @SamiamMarkson]

What classifies as npc music? Asking for a friend

[Sam Markson @SamiamMarkson]

Softened butter is the bane of my existence

[Sam Markson @SamiamMarkson]

My bf said the 30 second toast I made him cause he’s hung over was better than the full bed n breakfast that took me an hour to prepare

[Sam Markson @SamiamMarkson]

My Apple Music autoplay every time I finish a song:

“Haha that song was great right?! Now listen to Party For You for the 62nd time.”

Not complaining btw

[Sam Markson @SamiamMarkson]

Second time playing scrabble and I played a 7 letter word! Abduces. Still lost tho

[Sam Markson @SamiamMarkson]

@Aidan51134651

[Sam Markson @SamiamMarkson]

@MaxMan12005 Rare Max Segal twitter sighting

[Sam Markson @SamiamMarkson]

@BreeSantaCruz11 Don’t tweet and drive

[Sam Markson @SamiamMarkson]

How do I listen to Clairo without people thinking I’m a performative male?

[Sam Markson @SamiamMarkson]

@sillyeepyboy Don’t knock it till u try it :/

[Sam Markson @SamiamMarkson]

@Aidan51134651 @Wisdom_HQ Dead baby. Sad.

[Sam Markson @SamiamMarkson]

Today is not my day :(

[Sam Markson @SamiamMarkson]

I’m gonna jump off a building

[Sam Markson @SamiamMarkson]

Heartbreaking

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

John Cena has tapped out and lost his final WWE match.

[Sam Markson @SamiamMarkson]

I’ve never been a WWE fan, I’ve prob seen like 2 matches in my whole life.

John Cena’s last match is the saddest thing I’ve seen in my entire life. Actually heartbreaking.

[Sam Markson @SamiamMarkson]

Before my flight: I’m gonna be super productive and do some work on the plane!

During the flight:

(Yes I lost after this 😔)

[Sam Markson @SamiamMarkson]

Bad haiku:

I love sandwiches
They're the best food in the world
Haters gonna hate