Samantha Nicklaus

Author, business owner, and nacho lover.
(She/Her)

[Samantha Nicklaus @SamNicklaus]

The absolute tease of an injection in my SPINE working for a month, just for the pain to come back tenfold at the worst possible time is, and I cannot stress this enough, homophobic.

[Samantha Nicklaus @SamNicklaus]

A bag of cool ranch Doritos hates to see me coming

[Samantha Nicklaus @SamNicklaus]

Old enough to know I should do something productive with my increasingly little free time.

Young enough to play the Sims 4 and eat goldfish for dinner instead.

[Samantha Nicklaus @SamNicklaus]

ngl it was really cool and sexy of me to wait to have my mental breakdown until after I went to work and my dentist appointment today

[ruby 🇲🇽 @rubythevalley]

people who say "well trump was president in 2016 you'll live 🤓" do not realize tens of thousands of people died because he downplayed a pandemic and women today are dying because of the 3 supreme court justices he appointed

[michael @FilledwithUrine]

they should invent an election where you watch the results and don’t want to kiII yourself

[Samantha Nicklaus @SamNicklaus]

im going to fucking throw up

[Samantha Nicklaus @SamNicklaus]

@caseycreepers pulls me to the side at a Halloween party:

Casey: There is another fawn here and you are going to make her feel bad because you look so much better.
Me: is that a concern or a directive?
Casey: ... An observation

[Samantha Nicklaus @SamNicklaus]

Me, accidentally about to ring a bell for every Greek god to look at me, jokingly saying: I'll show so much hubris. You have no idea the hubris I can achieve.

[Samantha Nicklaus @SamNicklaus]

Me, eating an entire family sized serving of onion dip: this is Greek yogurt based, and Greek yogurt is good for you, so this is fine.

[Samantha Nicklaus @SamNicklaus]

I have been saying this for years, but I want to make my campaign official: PUT WALLS BACK IN HOUSES.

I hate open concept houses more than anything. Do not let them take walls from us. Together, we can make walls cool again.

[Samantha Nicklaus @SamNicklaus]

I stopped googling side effects to medications a while ago because I was nervous I was creating psychosomatic reactions.

1) I was not, I am just very unlucky
2) I may have taken medication at 9 PM that causes insomnia...

In my defense, I am VERY sick, very pretty, and dumb.

[Samantha Nicklaus @SamNicklaus]

The fact that ovulating also hurts is a scam I don't think we talk about enough.

[Samantha Nicklaus @SamNicklaus]

I got twelve hours is solid, uninterrupted sleep. It was amazing, especially after not sleeping well all week.

Of course, I was horizontal for twelve hours, so now my neck is in incredible pain.

[Samantha Nicklaus @SamNicklaus]

"ah did you get any rain from the tropical storm?"
Yes but mostly I got a migraine.

[Samantha Nicklaus @SamNicklaus]

I had a bad day at work and I feel dumb and unproductive but none of that matters to my animal crossing villagers, who would rather stand in my way while I try to garden 🫠

[Samantha Nicklaus @SamNicklaus]

This weekend I picked up the following items from my parents house:
1) approximately 15 nutcrackers
2) my grandfather's pocket watch
3) my great-grandmother's roughly 100 year old china set

[Samantha Nicklaus @SamNicklaus]

Shout out to the gas station attendant who made a crack about me "bringing the Florida heat with me" when he saw my car and didn't comment on the "move, I'm gay" sticker.

Happy Pride 🌈

[Samantha Nicklaus @SamNicklaus]

I was feeling bad emotionally, but then I let a doctor cut out pieces of my insides, so now I feel bad physically instead!!!

[Samantha Nicklaus @SamNicklaus]

Same, Nana 🌈