Scran

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[Scran @SamScran]

Me when I finally run into the ppl who bullied me at school.

[Marl Karx @BareLeft]

We used to write dystopian science fiction about this, you know.

[Elsie @Meelsie143]

type of shit jordan peterson would say with tears running down his face

[Not that Elon. #BIP 110 @Eggplant_Elon]

1/ First time I watched Fight Club, I was a teenager. I thought it was the coolest thing ever put on film.

I watched it again recently in my forties. I finally understood what it was actually about. And almost everyone I know who loves it is still watching it the way I did at 17. 🧵👇

[Tatum Turn Up @tatumturnup]

This is the greatest video I’ve ever seen. No notes. The lifeless clanker carcass just laying there. No crowd reaction, anything. Just Billie Jean. Until its lifeless shell is shamefully dragged off. Purely amazing.

[Mike Recine @mikerecine]

God works in mysterious ways. Like if you spend decades hoarding wealth and destroying the housing market then one day you have to hear your adult son cumming.

[Clwyd En Comú @ClwydEnComu]

Hahahahahaha

[Katherine Argent @effthealgorithm]

Search is full of ads and wrong answers. Every other email is an ad. Prime Video charges you and shows ads. Paramount? Ads. Peacock? YouTube? Hulu? Ads followed by more ads. Netflix full of ads. Meta and X, every other thing is an ad. Pinterest is nothing but ads. AI is in everything. AI finishes sentences incorrectly and won’t stop. AI reads your email and search history to target you with more ads. Every time you open an app or visit a site there’s an update making it worse. In a hurry? First, click here to agree to terms you don’t have time to read and must accept. You need an account to do that. Change your temporary password. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email and enter that code. Now use a passkey. Your password is too simple to remember. Change it. No, not like that. Now log on. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email for a code… Welcome back! We’ve updated our terms of service and privacy policy (you have none). Subscribe to the site. Subscribe to Netflix. Subscribe to toilet paper. Subscribe to these groceries. Pay a membership fee for the right to subscribe then tip your driver who delivers the subscriptions your membership lets you subscribe to. Time to work? We’ve got to update your laptop and will slow down everything you do until you agree to update. But first, click here to agree. Update installed — your laptop’s broken now. It doesn’t matter, since your boss just replaced you with AI. Go to your phone to complain on social media. Wait, your phone needs an update so we can add more AI. Click here. Oh sorry, your phone can’t handle this update. Now it’s useless. Go get the newest phone. Here’s a text from a friend, an email, a voice mail they left three days ago but you didn’t see until now because of sync problems with the cloud. It’s their GoFundMe. Their MLM. Their Patreon. Never mind, you didn’t respond to their text within 9 minutes and now you’re no longer friends. They blocked you. Make new friends. Download this app to find people in your area. In your neighborhood. On your street. Two doors down from you. Do you know this person yet, we think you’d get along. You need an account to use this app. That username is taken. Enter a password. Not that one, you used it on another site. You need to be connected to WiFi to download the app. Allow the app to connect to other devices on your network. Allow the app to access your contacts, know your precise location, store your credit card details. Oops, sorry, we got hacked now all that info is available on the web. There’s a class action suit. You can join. It’ll take a decade to get your $3.73 share of the ten billion settlement. We’ll send it via PayPal or deposit it to your bank, just tell us those details. Oh no, another hack. That info is circulating now, too. Here’s a spam call, a spam email, a spam text. Why are you angry? Why are you talking about getting rid of your phone? Why don’t you like AI, it lets us make all of this easier? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? This is progress. You’ll be left behind. Do you want to be left behind? Do you???

[Al Murray 🇺🇦 @almurray]

This is magnificent

[Berwyn Choobs @sabatonfan69]

Ah yes. Some pot smoke. That’s hits the spot… now to be productive- but first, a quick foray to the Wikipedia page for sugar ray

[KPMG dad @jenuflexion]

Since the early 2010s nearly every working class voice has been excised out of the media, so this beige chummy middle-class bakeoff-ification is the end result.

[chatpile roan @chatpileroan]

king gizzard mosh pit

[Wifejak @Wifejaksolana]

"Babe, shall we invite that nice couple we met last weekend over for dinner? You can put them on the end of your little spreadsheet!"

[Jack🦚 @StupidFreakBtch]

Idgaf what u look like, if u get in my car and play Disturbed, ur walking lol

[Delicious Tacos @Delicious_Tacos]

I’m the CEO of a hot dog company. I’ve worked on hot dogs for 10 years. And *I* wasn’t prepared for what I’ve just seen. Your life is about to change.

So what can you do?

Buy as many hot dogs as you can. Buy stock in hot dog companies.

[Chris Thorburn @CBThorburn]

Fuck your ChatGPT, if I want to see a caricature of myself I will make the effort to go to the seaside and pay £15 for a cruel man to give me body dysmorphia like we’ve always done.

[wyatt dunkin @WyattDuncan]

imagine being such a loser that you’re asking to go to pedophile island at 6am on Christmas morning

[Josh Rainer @JoshRainerGold]

People drink less today not because they’re being smarter about their health but because they don’t have the energy to throw themselves into the unknown of the night. I’m not sure what rates of fidelity are but I don’t think too many people are even capable of passionate romance fully possessing you towards lust or love. It’s neutered, it’s safe, it’s dull. It’s fear of the leap.

The sad part is the only thing people seem to be willing to try is to suffer. Punishment for the embarrassing state of no vitality. People have never been more bored.

[Polly Pocketknife🌸🔪 @polypocketknife]

local shows are cheap and often free the question is do you care about music and community or pop culture and celebrity worship

[microplastics nanobubbler @facetedcarapace]

Hard to say how insane this photo is as someone with zero context who these people are. They look like 4 different ghosts, each sent to teach you a lesson.