Sam

Actual Human Disaster, Esq.
Part-time Golden Retriever.
If my ghost haunted your house it would organize your sock drawer.
Aesthetic: An Ambient Glow of Doom.

[Sam @SamThe_Wise]

i am definitely ready for a goat to come along and offer me a delicious life in exchange for my soul

[Sam @SamThe_Wise]

@Mericamemed Getting hold of a raw, unprocessed cacao fruit is what your mom does for me but she doesn't have time because she's busy cursing the fact that she brought you into this world.

[Sam @SamThe_Wise]

@Shadoo_creeture Such royalty she doesn't even need a crown even

[Sam @SamThe_Wise]

@nickimoraa I value my alone time and want to be able to watch horror movies whenever I want. I also don't want to have to deal with someone else's bodily fluids/waste.

[PRIDE 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇬🇧 @prideukorg]

❤️🏳️‍⚧️

[Sam @SamThe_Wise]

@_sorrengailll Having stuff on my face that low key prevents me from rubbing it or splashing it with cold water whenever I feel so inclined freaks me the fuck out.

[Sam @SamThe_Wise]

@milenkadraws This black woman is obviously overreacting so go ahead and discharge her.

[Sam @SamThe_Wise]

@Shadoo_creeture I add bugg

[Sam @SamThe_Wise]

@babygirljasz1 @ele__giac "(s)He provoked me, I just couldn't resist"

[🌷🦋 Love Music 🎶 & Dance 💃🏻🕺🏻 @Tiana_Celine_23]

Gestures to make you more elegant and feminine

[Sam @SamThe_Wise]

@AlexanderNewall I would recommend John Ajvide Lindqvist's earlier works such as "Handling the Undead" and "Paper Walls". As a part time nightmare merchant I think you would enjoy them.

[Sam @SamThe_Wise]

Women displaying their academic achievements to annoy misogynists is the best version of slay fr

[Sam @SamThe_Wise]

Indeed. Domesticated animals are a direct result of human intervention and therefore we are responsible for their care, whatever it may be. Keeping domesticated animals is not equal to unethical actions.

[ethan (kamala’s version) @swiftiexkhive]

the sheep will fucking die if you don’t shear them you blithering idiots

[Sam @SamThe_Wise]

@Garrett_Watts @FNAFMovie Indeed I very much do care and also appreciate 🌸💕🥰

[Sam @SamThe_Wise]

@TheFigen_ Life

[Sam @SamThe_Wise]

@gunsnrosesgirl3 I will slip and crack my head open on that marble counter within 30 seconds of entering

[Sam @SamThe_Wise]

@FoodPleaser Seasoning.

[Sam @SamThe_Wise]

@cwchris_ 80's gym bro

[Sam @SamThe_Wise]

@yousef_ki1

[Sam @SamThe_Wise]

@Dalbodog My sweet bby boi🥰💕