Taylor Sams

Iowa State Alumni- RFA Engineering

[Taylor Sams @Samzy81]

“If all your friends go to jump off a bridge are you gunna too?”

First of all that shit is a tradition where I’m from. #thetrestle

[Taylor Sams @Samzy81]

Two kinds of people at the airport. The kind dressed like they’re about to go live on the bachelor...and the kind that look like they aint never held a rose lol

[Taylor Sams @Samzy81]

Nobody hates on you like your dad when you’ve been spendin a lil money on yourself😂

[Taylor Sams @Samzy81]

If you check into your hotel room and you can’t find American Pickers on the teevee within 17 seconds that is not a reputable establishment.

[Taylor Sams @Samzy81]

@hannahsams31 Also why is my emoji a damn shrimp. I am average height i swear.

[Taylor Sams @Samzy81]

@tylerlutes @neffels If what you’re up to is top of the muggle world then I think I prefer homeless in Diagon Alley.

[Taylor Sams @Samzy81]

@tylerlutes A smart man knows that a tomato is a fruit. A wise man knows to not try and sell them next to apples.

[Taylor Sams @Samzy81]

@shylagerber I gotchu Possum

[Taylor Sams @Samzy81]

@cubben10 Keith Jr

[Taylor Sams @Samzy81]

Ill catch the cancer one of these days and my Momma will show up UNTROUBLED with an IV bag of Neosporin. Dad will be upset we didnt wait until “It started hurting bad” to go to the doctor.

[Taylor Sams @Samzy81]

@claira_sams Ya’ll sell dudes and thats your only flex. The rest is jeans with doilies sewn onto em.

[Taylor Sams @Samzy81]

@shylagerber @zzari_ Do not go shopping for a possum please.

[Taylor Sams @Samzy81]

@ryleigheschultz 😭

[Taylor Sams @Samzy81]

So anyways as the only male Sams of my generation my family name dies if I cant trick someone into liking me at some point. I’ve literally got the family jewels in these jeans rn.

[Taylor Sams @Samzy81]

@madywall Yeah @tyrunge bout gave me a stroke at work.

[Taylor Sams @Samzy81]

@tyrunge @KolbyCooper_ @KoeWetzel @lukecombs @ReadSouthall @RileyGreenMusic @jakeowen @codyjohnson @MuscadineBLine @TTChilders @ParkerMcCollum That is bonkers.

[Taylor Sams @Samzy81]

Thank goodness. I was starting to worry that I wasnt even gunna get a snap from Team Snapchat today����

[Taylor Sams @Samzy81]

@neffels Well in your particular case Ive been calling you a fatass since you were 6’6 and 100 pounds soaking wet.

[Because I'm a Guy @CauseWereGuys]

Good boy yeeted the shit out of that snake https://t.co/oQq089eJ36