Junior PM: My manager keeps dumping everything on me. I'm doing everyone else's work.
Senior PM: What kind of work?
Junior PM: Bug reports, user research synthesis, writing copy, updating stakeholders...
Senior PM: Sounds rough.
Junior PM: It is! I should be doing strategy, not grunt work.
Senior PM: Who asked you to do all that?
Junior PM: Well... nobody directly asked.
Senior PM: Then why are you doing it?
Junior PM: Because if I don't, nothing gets done.
Senior PM: Ah. You've got a monkey problem.
Junior PM: what's that supposed to mean?
Senior PM: You're collecting everyone else's monkeys.
Junior PM: monkeys?
Senior PM: Every problem has a "next move." The monkey lives on whoever
has that next move.
Junior PM: so?
Senior PM: You keep taking the next move from other people.
Junior PM: example?
Senior PM: Engineer says "this error message is confusing." You say "I'll
rewrite it."
Junior PM: that's helping.
Senior PM: That's taking their monkey. Now you own fixing the error
message.
Junior PM: but they won't do it themselves.
Senior PM: Because you always do it for them.
Junior PM: so I should just let things stay broken?
Senior PM: No. You should give the monkey back.
Junior PM: how?
Senior PM: "This error message is confusing. What are your ideas for fixing
it?"
Junior PM: they'll say they don't know.
Senior PM: "When can you show me three options?"
Junior PM: but I can write it faster myself.
Senior PM: And you'll be writing error messages forever.
Junior PM: fair point.
Senior PM: Here's the thing about carrying water.
Junior PM: yeah?
Senior PM: It's not about doing everyone's work. It's about ensuring work
gets done.
Junior PM: what's the difference?
Senior PM: Ownership.
Junior PM: explain.
Senior PM: When you do the work, you own the problem. When they do the
work, they own the solution.
Junior PM: but what if they do it wrong?
Senior PM: Then they learn. And you coach them.
Junior PM: sounds slow.
Senior PM: Slower upfront. Faster long-term.
Junior PM: how do I know when to take the monkey?
Senior PM: Good question. Ask yourself: "Is this building capability or
creating dependency?"
Junior PM: meaning?
Senior PM: Taking the monkey builds dependency. They'll keep bringing
you the same problems.
Junior PM: and giving it back?
Senior PM: Builds capability. They learn to solve similar problems
themselves.
Junior PM: but some things are genuinely my job.
Senior PM: Absolutely. The key is knowing which.
Junior PM: examples?
Senior PM: Product decisions. Stakeholder alignment. Strategy. Cross-
team coordination.
Junior PM: what about writing copy?
Senior PM: Depends. First time? Maybe you do it to show quality
standards.
Junior PM: and after that?
Senior PM: You review their copy. You don't write it for them.
Junior PM: this feels mean.
Senior PM: What feels mean about it?
Junior PM: making them struggle when I could just help.
Senior PM: You ARE helping. You're helping them become better at their
job.
Junior PM: but they might resent me.
Senior PM: They'll resent you more if you make them helpless.
Junior PM: how so?
Senior PM: Nobody wants to be the person who can't solve their own
problems.
Junior PM: true.
Senior PM: Plus, you can't scale if everything depends on you.
Junior PM: scaling meaning?
Senior PM: More products, bigger team, complex problems. You become
the bottleneck.
Junior PM: so when should I carry water?
Senior PM: When there's a genuine gap. No clear owner, urgent customer
impact, or teaching moment.
Junior PM: teaching moment?
Senior PM: "Let me show you how I'd approach this, then you handle the
next one."
Junior PM: but what if I'm wrong about who should own it?
Senior PM: Then you learn too. Ask them: "Who do you think should handle
this?"
Junior PM: and if they say me?
Senior PM: Ask why. Often they just haven't thought about alternatives.
Junior PM: this is harder than just doing it myself.
Senior PM: Everything worth doing is harder than the alternative.
Junior PM: the AI Prompts collection probably has templates for these
conversations.
Senior PM: Probably. But the real skill is knowing when to use them.
Junior PM: so carrying water is about judgment?
Senior PM: Carrying water is about building systems that don't need you to
carry water.
Junior PM: meta.
Senior PM: The best PMs make themselves dispensable by making
everyone else more capable.
Junior PM: sounds lonely.
Senior PM: Sounds scalable.