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Sarcasm is the bodys natural defense to idiots. ☚ #SarcasmApproved

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Being nice to the people you don't like isn't called 2 faced, its called growing up...

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Dear God, I wanna take a minute, not to ask for anything from you but simply to say thank you, for all I have.

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I wish I had a dollar for every dollar I don't have.

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"Did you get a haircut?" "No, I dyed the tips of my hair invisible."

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I am not desperate because I am single. I am single because I am not desperate.

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I wish my eyes could take pictures.

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The awkward moment when you're standing there pushing a pull door.

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Love your parents. We are so busy growing up, we often forget they are also growing old.

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But what if I can't keep calm and carry on?

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Forgiving someone is easy, but being able to trust them again is a totally different story.

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It doesn't matter if it was a relationship or a friendship. When it ends, your heart breaks.

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Sometimes the person who tries to keep everyone happy is the most lonely person. #truth

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Designated Driver is just a nicer way of saying, you can come with us, but nobody wants to deal with your drunk ass.

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Doing something weird and thinking “this is why I’m single..”

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If someone tells you “it’s better than sex” they’re not doing sex right.

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why would you want to be associated with someone who doesn't want to be associated with you.

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If I had a dollar for every time someone spelled my name wrong, I could pay for college, semester abroad, a new car, and a mansion in cash.

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missing you...

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Hi.

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Having a #rhumcola before turning in. Goodnight @jmcdonald4110 Sleep well. BIG HUG!