Sarcasm Orgasm

News that is definitely true and not at all untrue

[Sarcasm Orgasm @SarcasmOrgasm_]

"Why would I risk getting a healthy amount of rest? I might miss an absolute worldie by some unknown Icelandic bloke." https://t.co/BQ0kQRtlwj

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It's a wonderful way to express yourself, and an even better way to increase your chances of becoming a paraplegic. https://t.co/Q6nscN0znN

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“It was only a couple of weeks ago I was going to the beach,” exclaimed angry Sydneysider Terry MacKay, who hasn’t been to the beach since January. https://t.co/VkM0skyfyt

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Friel, who has surprisingly never competed in professional gymnastics, took most of the steps at an ordinary pace, but decided to speed things up a bit at the bottom. https://t.co/7YceFBOmB1

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"Now all she does is babble about Romeo and count." https://t.co/T6vPlNDoIp

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I could have impulse-purchased a pet eel, but now my eel money is officially gone. https://t.co/UT9PddG9y9

[Sarcasm Orgasm @SarcasmOrgasm_]

In a separate issue, Jake alleges that Tommy is "gay," however this contradicts his supposed involvement in the mother-banging situation. https://t.co/W32cmk1vyy

[Sarcasm Orgasm @SarcasmOrgasm_]

Shock Result As Argentina Defeat Football Powerhouse Haiti https://t.co/DVPO1d2Q0z

[Sarcasm Orgasm @SarcasmOrgasm_]

Oh No! This Lady Did Deadlifts Once And Accidentally Got Too Bulky https://t.co/YDCSPdBvT5

[Sarcasm Orgasm @SarcasmOrgasm_]

Local Man Intentionally Wears Bucket Hat https://t.co/1js8ifbaiK

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"I’m not one of those plastic fans either; I watch at least two games per season.” #uclfinal #liverpoolfc https://t.co/quOOmT3u1E

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Anyone hitting up #VividSydney tonight, remember the sacrifice made by our epileptic friends #PourSomeOutForOnesHomies https://t.co/N9iGFQss5g

[Sarcasm Orgasm @SarcasmOrgasm_]

At least Amazon Alexa hasn't sent an audio clip of anyone fucking yet

#Amazon #EchoGate

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@australian George Orwell would be rolling violently in his grave https://t.co/l2R7kpsMvw

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@abcnews George Orwell would be rolling violently in his grave https://t.co/l2R7kpsMvw

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@CBSNews George Orwell would be rolling violently in his grave https://t.co/l2R7kpsMvw

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@business George Orwell would be rolling violently in his grave https://t.co/l2R7kpsMvw

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@SBSNews Called it yesterday! Get with the times SBS https://t.co/l2R7kpsMvw

[Sarcasm Orgasm @SarcasmOrgasm_]

Epileptic Sydneysiders Prepare For Annual Hibernation https://t.co/N9iGFQaRdI

[Sarcasm Orgasm @SarcasmOrgasm_]

“I wonder if there’s a downside to letting a faceless corporation listen to everything my little girls say and do.” https://t.co/HrkoaMWB7S