Kate Hamre

Plankton lover, sassy b.
Judging your shoes.

[Kate Hamre @sasssyK]

@Delta I was told by your very rude rep that my only option is to essentially live in the Detroit airport for a couple days #deltameltdown

[Kate Hamre @sasssyK]

Trying to make conversation with other adults like:
"So which Magic School Bus character are you most like?"

[Kate Hamre @sasssyK]

Job interviewer: What's your greatest strength?
Me: Well, I can always tell which one's Mary Kate and which one's Ashley.

[Kate Hamre @sasssyK]

Dear Pandora: my station based on a contemporary classical artist is NOT an invitation for you to play piano covers of Bruno Mars

[Kate Hamre @sasssyK]

If face swap doesn't work with dogs then what's it all for

[Kate Hamre @sasssyK]

I don't have many regrets in life, but one time in high school I ordered a Kobe steak well done.

[Kate Hamre @sasssyK]

Spend an hour carefully cooking a fabulous breakfast, scarf in down in two minutes, forget to even taste it

[Kate Hamre @sasssyK]

"Try this one, it's aged manchego" I say to my dog

[Kate Hamre @sasssyK]

My signature accessory is a towel-dried damp dog swathed in thrift store cashmere

[Kate Hamre @sasssyK]

When you forget your dog is a dog and you get sassy about the antioxidants he's missing out on by not eating berries

[Kate Hamre @sasssyK]

Shoot, there's donut icing on my pencil skirt. Again.

[Kate Hamre @sasssyK]

I've cut out dairy, which for me means occasionally going half a day without any cheese.

[Kate Hamre @sasssyK]

Well, have you ever had to eat mac and cheese off a plate? Torture.

[Kate Hamre @sasssyK]

My closet has two discrete gray sweater sections and they are NOT to be mixed.

[Kate Hamre @sasssyK]

When you unbutton your jeans before even heating up the pizza.

[Kate Hamre @sasssyK]

I'm not an adult, but I'm closer to adulthood than I've ever been.

[Kate Hamre @sasssyK]

Kale is delicious just like high heels are comfortable

[Kate Hamre @sasssyK]

#Dude, we bought some dope-ass cookies at Trader Joe's but we ate most of them but there are some left."

[Kate Hamre @sasssyK]

I'm fine with you sending me poor-quality concert snapchats as long as you're fine with me deleting your phone number.

[Kate Hamre @sasssyK]

Me: Can you help me identify this dinoflagellate?
My advisor: That's copepod poop.