Aidan?

He/him | Gimme books | ACAB | A bird in the nook is worth two in the cranny

[Aidan? @SaucySaxon]

Me in high school asking the theater girls for relationship advice

[Aidan? @SaucySaxon]

Has anyone explored the correlation between prevalence of rim job activity in areas with higher concentrations of bidets?

[Aidan? @SaucySaxon]

If you've never had to suppress the urge to taste the brown liquid pooling between the cracks on the Times Square subway platform, you don't know true longing

[Aidan? @SaucySaxon]

I just danced so hard to an Eagles of Death Metal song that I made myself nauseous

[Aidan? @SaucySaxon]

For $5 I will verbally abuse you nonsexually

[Aidan? @SaucySaxon]

Send your children to work in the banana mines today!
-Lots of exercise
-Get paid in bananas
-63% less spiders than conventional banana harvesting
-Keeps them out of the lithium gangs

[Aidan? @SaucySaxon]

Qu'ran - Bible Remastered
Book of Mormon - Bible II
Origin of the Species - Bible III: Monkeying Around

[Aidan? @SaucySaxon]

@iammr_snrub Jesus Horse Christ

[Aidan? @SaucySaxon]

Guys, just SHUT UP ABOUT ELON, he is NICE and GOOD and he loves MEMES LIKE WE DO and he likes 69 AND 420 and he CONTRIBUTES NOTHING SCIENTIFICALLY BUT TAKES CREDIT FOR IT and he is HELPING us by CROSSING STREAMS with JEFF BEZOS and he is NICE and he has MORE MONEY THAN ME and

[Aidan? @SaucySaxon]

@TheJacBernhard You actually JACed off 103 customers in a half hour

[Aidan? @SaucySaxon]

Pockets: empty
Dick: hard
Organs: hemorrhaging
Ready for the day

[Kendell @dellfonics]

.@GovStitt Oklahoma cannot execute an innocent man. Please save Julius Jones’ life and take the recommendation of your Pardon and Parole Board and commute his sentence to life with the possibility of parole. #JusticeforJulius

[Aidan? @SaucySaxon]

@JimBreuer This is great, Jim! Of the 12 people in the audience, 4 of them laughed consistently!

[Aidan? @SaucySaxon]

When someone asks what genders I'm attracted to

[Aidan? @SaucySaxon]

Under communism, all virgins will receive a state-subsidized kiss on the forehead and a sad knowing smile

[Aidan? @SaucySaxon]

People who say they peaked in college have obviously never felt the thrill of being talked to like a human being instead of a listless drifter at Buffalo Exchange

[Hbomberguy @Hbomberguy]

I have a piece of paper in my desk that says who owns the statue of liberty. For £5 I will write your name on it

[Aidan? @SaucySaxon]

Happy Guy Fawkes Day to Guy Fawkes. You would have loved not being burnt at the stake for trying to blow up parliament. That's just the way she goes