The Guru

Taste the science.

[The Guru @SayethTheGuru]

The magic of childbirth is NOT looking #realtalk

[The Guru @SayethTheGuru]

I didn't do bath salts, I just took some epsom salt... from the bathroom...

[The Guru @SayethTheGuru]

The only prescription for failure is failing to prescribe. #bigpharma

[The Guru @SayethTheGuru]

#realtalk though... Don't be a pussy.
http://t.co/kNEw10lt6i @mnt #straightdope

[The Guru @SayethTheGuru]

Brb gotta rob a credit union #roadroadtrippingsohard

[The Guru @SayethTheGuru]

This is why you can't have any pudding until you eat your meat. #knowyourfloyd http://t.co/oHiTcKundB @Telegraph

[The Guru @SayethTheGuru]

It's never too early for crab balls #breakfastisserved #crapballs

[The Guru @SayethTheGuru]

You can have a high IQ but no one can make you use it #dumbasspirations

[The Guru @SayethTheGuru]

Hipsters beware #headlinenews #straightdope https://t.co/C5BROSBont

[Business Insider @BusinessInsider]

Snoop Dogg is suing PBR http://t.co/V1pw57SgB5

[The Guru @SayethTheGuru]

My future self tells my present self what's going to happen. That's why I'm so insightful. @digitaljournal http://t.co/mjbCFXcYVF

[The Guru @SayethTheGuru]

Yeah I had other dreams, whatever, being a genius was my fallback... #truth

[The Guru @SayethTheGuru]

I really need to get my shit together and take more drugs. #epiphany

[The Guru @SayethTheGuru]

I used to be a private dick, but now I'm a public dick.

[The Guru @SayethTheGuru]

I really need to go through the junk in my trunk.

[The Guru @SayethTheGuru]

A win for the world, @SkyMall is back!