Max

three off-putting children in a trenchcoat. they/them

[Max @ScaryMaximus]

Somebody came into the store today with a large and splendid blue and gold macaw just chilling out on his shoulder and it brightened my whole day right up! Imo more customers should come in accompanied by cool birds

[Max @ScaryMaximus]

@brickgrouse Everything looks gross when you're zooming in that close to it!

[Max @ScaryMaximus]

Look at these lovely hydrangeas!! 😊

[Optimistic Lizard 🌊proud to be a LIBERAL @rex197878]

2 kangaroos fighting outside a pub in Australia. It's like a real life cartoon 😂🤣😂

[Max @ScaryMaximus]

@brickgrouse Honestly I think cops just really like arranging stuff on a big table

[Max @ScaryMaximus]

@brickgrouse Song of the summer just dropped

[Max @ScaryMaximus]

The X is repulsive I miss the little bird 😔

[Max @ScaryMaximus]

The fuck were ppl doing with all these dishes back in the day??? It's too many

[Max @ScaryMaximus]

So I put her on speaker phone on the sales floor so everyone got to hear her making an ass of herself on the phone at the top of her lungs 😈

[Max @ScaryMaximus]

I had this customer on the phone yelling at me bc of a mistake SHE made, but was blaming us for and when I asked her to lower her voice she yelled even louder and claimed that she just had a loud voice + was in a loud area so she NEEDED to yell and I would just have to deal w it

[Max @ScaryMaximus]

Getting caught in a thunderstorm out in public?? Terrifying! Undignified!! 0/10 would not recommend 👎

[Max @ScaryMaximus]

The tea towels? Yeah they're on the floor now! That's what I think of this shitty thunderstorm ⛈😠

[Max @ScaryMaximus]

Wow, big lightening out there rn so I think I'll be hiding under the bed with all the dogs out there tonight. Hi fellas! What are we up to? Hyperventilating bc of the storm? Mind if I join?

[Max @ScaryMaximus]

@brickgrouse He is VERY particular about his trash, and what is and isn't trash

[Liz Charboneau @lizchar]

oh, she's not allowed to surf? says who, JONAH HILL???

[Lynda Carter @RealLyndaCarter]

You have to see Oppenheimer first. This is because Barbie lives in the world that Oppenheimer built.

[rax ‘levon honkers’ king @RaxKingIsDead]

my parents never let us buy food at the zoo or museums or the airport because it’s so expensive & bad and now i am addicted to expensive bad food from zoos and museums and the airport

[Max @ScaryMaximus]

@brickgrouse Berry season rules!

[Max @ScaryMaximus]

What kind of asshole saves their stupid backyard fireworks display until the LAST night of a long weekend?? You're gonna set off a whole bunch of loud explosions at fuckin 10pm when ppl have to get up early tomorrow???

[Max @ScaryMaximus]

Nobody likes your amateur fireworks display 🎆👎😘