Schwartzfan

Short White Man, Cigar Smoker, Satirist, Comedian, Complete Smart Ass, Often Offensive and not Politically Correct.

[Schwartzfan @Schwartz_fan]

@joerogan Donut shop lady wished me a Happy Father's day. She got mad when I said all of my children ended up in condoms or socks.

[WILLOWISMYGOAT @soloman_bt]

This is very interesting https://t.co/YBDaHDlwls

[Schwartzfan @Schwartz_fan]

@RealRebelElle I wish we had a day of the week that started with 'P' 😂

[Andrew Schulz 👑HEZI @andrewschulz]

Hey @facebook why did you take down our piece about Epstein and Maxwell? 🤔🤔🤔

[Michael Wyszynski @mwyszynski]

Another #COVID19 fatality. My @netflix queue. Been a subscriber for years and this has only happened 3 times! (I fixed it. I added 25 more in the last hour.)

[Michael Wyszynski @mwyszynski]

Pre-employment drug test rescheduled for tomorrow. Wish I knew this before I drank a liter of water.

Reminds me of a book my mom told me about.

"Yellow River" by I.P. Freely

My mom knew a ton of clean jokes.

[Tim Pool @Timcast]

Fuck Off

[Michael Wyszynski @mwyszynski]

Watching #JohnTuckerMustDie right now. Class work before this week's @YouGotHeigld podcast!

https://t.co/HHic8uWAtR

[Schwartzfan @Schwartz_fan]

@mwyszynski @YouGotHeigld On the couch with your hand down your pants...Al Bundy style?

[Kody Cheyne @KodyCheyne]

@billburr but my step-grandma's name is Karen... Should I just call her the N-word instead?

[Michael Wyszynski @mwyszynski]

"Am I president yet?" @JoeBiden #BunkerBiden

[Schwartzfan @Schwartz_fan]

@M4GN0L1A I'd love to meet you 😍

[Schwartzfan @Schwartz_fan]

@M4GN0L1A Please don't 😥

[Schwartzfan @Schwartz_fan]

@asaltiercorpse I feel you. I'm so done at this point 😔

[Larry The Cable Guy @GitRDoneLarry]

Things I’ve never done.

[Schwartzfan @Schwartz_fan]

@RealRebelElle 91 😮

[John Cardillo @johncardillo]

I can’t stop watching this:

https://t.co/X3q2mjg5qx

[Newsweek @Newsweek]

Second stimulus check update: GOP lawmakers indicate another round of $1,200 relief is unlikely https://t.co/e0PpMYUJqi

[Michael Wyszynski @mwyszynski]

Governor Abbott set to announce Phase 2 of his plan at 2 p.m., possibly allowing public businesses to operate at 50% capacity.

Texas, the land where liberty lives!

#ReturnToNormal

[Schwartzfan @Schwartz_fan]

New Jersey Firefighter Channels Wu-Tang Clan For COVID-19 Diss Track -- https://t.co/tv65vSL5a2 via @hiphopdx