Scott Sevena

My monowheel has a punt gun.
All my best:

[Scott Sevena @scot7a]

DOCTOR: Mrs. Nice Guy? I'm so sorry, but I have some terrible news...

[Scott Sevena @scot7a]

@TheAndrewNadeau Mal-entines Day...

[Scott Sevena @scot7a]

@Bedlam_Beersie @dave_cactus Wow, thank you very much John, that's so kind of you!! 🤟😃

(Sorry for the delay, I just saw this!)

[Scott Sevena @scot7a]

@smiles_and_nods @all_tweet_calls Here's one!

https://t.co/TohmGN9VoS

[Scott Sevena @scot7a]

ME, my last day as a doctor: Sir, your sugar is dangerously high. You need to eat less... *checking the notes on my hand*... crabs.

[Scott Sevena @scot7a]

@MadHatterMommy @TweetCallsToday Here's one!

https://t.co/TohmGN9VoS

[Scott Sevena @scot7a]

ME, my last day as a doctor: Sir, your sugar is dangerously high. You need to eat less... *checking the notes on my hand*... crabs.

[Scott Sevena @scot7a]

@capricorngoof Oh snap, we actually do...

[Scott Sevena @scot7a]

@capricorngoof We have the technology...

[Scott Sevena @scot7a]

@MomWithNoPlan @TweetCallsToday https://t.co/EoIBVJSye0

[Scott Sevena @scot7a]

Ugh... summer in Florida is like getting smothered to death with a quilt someone took out of the dryer too soon.

[Scott Sevena @scot7a]

@peoplescontest @all_tweet_calls https://t.co/Kw0atr06RP

[Scott Sevena @scot7a]

ME, my last day as a doctor: Sir, your sugar is dangerously high. You need to eat less... *checking the notes on my hand*... crabs.

[Scott Sevena @scot7a]

@GrahamKritzer That kid has a big future in imporv...

[Scott Sevena @scot7a]

@BeeeejEsq @ozzyunc @TweetCallsToday @AllanForsyth @fundersum @GraniteDhuine @hammyinmiami

[Scott Sevena @scot7a]

@AllanForsyth @ozzyunc @TweetCallsToday @fundersum @GraniteDhuine @hammyinmiami @BeeeejEsq

[Scott Sevena @scot7a]

@drinksmcgee @TweetCallsToday Thanks, Drinks!!

https://t.co/Om4GR3Zcmi

[Scott Sevena @scot7a]

ME, my last day as a doctor: Sir, your sugar is dangerously high. You need to eat less... *checking the notes on my hand*... crabs.

[Scott Sevena @scot7a]

@ChicksRule @PresTightrhymes @TweetCallsToday

[Scott Sevena @scot7a]

@_oYoYo @AllanForsyth Classic!! 🤣

[Scott Sevena @scot7a]

The bartender looks concerned. "Say, buddy, don't you think you've had enough?"

"Keep it coming," I growl, and he knows not to refuse.

Sighing, he adds more fresh grated cheese onto my fettuccine. He turns to go, but I catch his sleeve.

"Leave the grater."

[Scott Sevena @scot7a]

@RodLacroix @TweetCallsToday Here's an "aha"!
https://t.co/Jh5zhT2kAq

And here's one with "me" in it!
https://t.co/3VA6nVqiOL

[Scott Sevena @scot7a]

ME, my last day as a doctor: Sir, your sugar is dangerously high. You need to eat less... *checking the notes on my hand*... crabs.

[Scott Sevena @scot7a]

@everanting @TweetCallsToday @BrokenheadJordo Hey congrats on the milestone!!

1 Jorts and 2 Mustaches!
https://t.co/D14jmFX2H9

https://t.co/uzZJL6MlxH

https://t.co/0hoyatkt5j

[Scott Sevena @scot7a]

My face is like a bad marriage and the mustache I grew in 2015 was the baby they thought would bring them closer together.

[Scott Sevena @scot7a]

@itsappalaCHA Is a candlestick really a weapon?

In this essay, I intend to...

[Scott Sevena @scot7a]

BANK LOAN OFFICER: And this loan is for home improvements? Specifically... let me see... "an awesome secret passage behind the bookcase"?
ME, dressed as Colonel Mustard: That is correct.