A celebrity that intimidated me is Jack Nicholson. I’m in the movie Anger Management. First rehearsal. He’s right there. I introduce myself. Nervous. Heart racing. He’s talking to Adam Sandler.
I tap Jack on the shoulder. “Hey Jack, you’ve been golfing?”
He says: “What?”
Sandler’s laughing.
Jack says, “Not since the last time you asked me that question.”
Sandler is now laughing even harder.
I take a year trying to figure out what that meant. A year later, I see Jack at a party.
Everyone’s there. Christopher Walken, Elizabeth Taylor, Harrison Ford, Princess Leia, Al Pacino, George Lucas, Princess Leia, Christopher Walken, Al Pacino.
There’s Jack.
This is my moment.
I walk up. Tap him on the shoulder and say, “Hey Jack, you’ve been golfing?”
Right then, Pacino taps him on the shoulder. Jack turns his back to me.
Now it looks like I’m waiting in line to talk to Pacino. I ate something earlier that didn’t agree with me.
I crop dusted Jack Nicholson.
Pacino caught some of it.
It was bad.
I walk away.
From across the room I hear Jack yell:
“What the hell died in here?”
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