Seanyboy

[Seanyboy @Seannyyboy]

Big booty hoes? I’m with it.

[faget83629031852 @faget9261530128]

i dislocated my ballsack

[skooks @skooookum]

The cold brew prepares the body for the Celcius. The Celcius prepares the body for war.

[Beautiful Normal Woman @SillyBWoman]

Mental health tip Get on Twitter immediately after Opening Your Eyes in the morning and Don’t get out of bed until you have Scrolled Aimlessly for at least 2 Hours

[jz2 @mixedgrass666]

Told the mechanic I was occasionally hearing a knocking sound on sharp turns. Called me back and said none of us were able to recreate a knocking sound but we did hear a clanking. Ok. Pretty sure we’re talking about the same thing. I did not know clank was one of the options

[🪩🎲🍒 @expired_grl]

maybe your cat is meowing bc it wants a cigarette

[Wopavelli @TheWopObama]

In American slang we often refer to money as “benjamins” this is a subtle reference to Benjamin Netanyahu, an American folk figure who takes all of our money

[ᴅᴏᴏᴍᴇɴɪᴄ @dinosaur_info]

Nobody is complaining loudly enough that Wikipedia is sometimes no longer even on the first page of google results. Like what the hell are we doing

[ﾟ✧ﾟ mothemi ﾟ✧ﾟ @kvwviiju]

hey king couldn’t help but notice that big step u took to unstick ur balls just now

[Marlboro Apologist @CyclicalYearner]

Horror game where your only source of light is when you hit your vape

[shawn gardini @shwangardini]

Sometimes you just have to fill up the Brita. It's alittle annoying that you have to take it out of the fridge and over to the sink. But it'll only take about 30 seconds.

[Bolshevik Enthusiast @LeBolshevikman]

The last thing Netanyahu sees before getting his dick sucked

[Positivity Central @chasedbywasps]

as a man, once you get into your late 20s/early 30s you really have to grow up and start focusing on gaming and the gym

[Smaug 🇺🇸 @Smaug55]

A bunch of 60 year old redditors run my country

[Daniel @growing_daniel]

Another everyday luxury is leaving your faucets running. I haven’t turned off my faucets in years. It’s convenient for when I need to use it and it creates a pleasant running water sound in my home, like a babbling brook.

[Sarah @heyaimsarah]

they are the only ones with property Nancy

[˖ Ritz 𓂀 ݁˖ @ridhima_z]

they’ll put a data center in yo ass if you not paying attention

[critter @BecomingCritter]

*scrolling twitter for 4th straight hour* man I'm so glad I never got hooked on short-form video

[Hollymore @Hollymore10703]

Parents adopted a cat with huge thumbs