not carlos

here to make the good trouble

[not carlos @SenatorPoon]

big boobs

[not carlos @SenatorPoon]

@amazon I got sent someone’s nasty old watch. you wanna fix this before tomorrow morning when I’ll be contacting the NM Attorney General’s office with a consumer protection complaint? Your phone reps hung up on me.

[Shawn ☕ (shawn-in-3d on bsky) @Shawn_In_3D]

@sportswithjohn @JNJNews

[not carlos @SenatorPoon]

@harryjsisson they’re going to die on the court harry this is delusional and misguided

[John Green @sportswithjohn]

Unverified accounts WILL ONLY BE ABLE TO SEE SIX HUNDRED POSTS PER DAY?!?! Finally, social internet executives do something USEFUL FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH. Thanks, Elon, for once again making my unverified twitter experience SO much better than my verified experience @johngreen.

[John Green @sportswithjohn]

Javier, I am learning spanish so that I can communicate directly with you. Let me know if I said this correctly: Mi hermano en cristo, cierra la puta boca.

[John Green @sportswithjohn]

There are only 3 people left who are verified against their will: William Shatner, Lebron James, and Stephen King.

I'd WATCH THE SHIT out of a movie in which our three heroes band together to storm twitter HQ to de-checkmark. Final boss battle with Elon would be epic.

[Aidan Kohn-Murphy @AidanKohnMurphy]

me leaving dc after pissing off every hill reporter for saying twink

[not carlos @SenatorPoon]

@TLeeLaxDad @CNN this isn’t the same thing, the fact that you frame it as such is absolutely ridiculous

[not carlos @SenatorPoon]

@TwitterSupport it’s crazy how when you start firing everybody with more than a single brain cell things start falling apart!!!

[not carlos @SenatorPoon]

@nonbinarybooty literally told my mom i cancelled my netflix and if she wanted to she could get her own but I’m done

[not carlos @SenatorPoon]

@nahidtislam @TaranVH i buy stuff that can’t have any wi-fi or RF transmission capabilities, including TV’s, for work. it is apparently too much to ask for.

[National Park Service @NatlParkService]

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

[not carlos @SenatorPoon]

@I_Lostalim @chicagobigben @hankgreen it’s pretty naive to think that AUSTRALIA of all places isn’t impacted by US politics lmao

[Aidan Kohn-Murphy @AidanKohnMurphy]

That moment meant the world to me. That’s just who Jamie Raskin is. He is one of the kindest and most compassionate people I’ve met, and we’re so lucky to have him in Congress. Wishing him a speedy recovery.

[☆ ‧dreamboy··‧̩̥˟͙冬˟͙‧̩̥l @LilNasX]

i hate when seafood places leave the shell on the shrimp. i’m not peeling no damn shrimp i have a job.

[Matt. @MattTheBrand]

weighted blankets are not enough. hit me with a shovel

[not carlos @SenatorPoon]

@quinlanpope WAS THIS UR MOM OMG

[rachel @rachelmillman]

i’m not above handing one to biden once in a while

[Jack Petocz @Jack_Petocz]

Growing up, I watched in terror as mass shooting after mass shooting occurred. Today, I asked Ron DeSantis directly, why he doesn’t care about my life and refuses to act on gun violence. Instead of answering me, he sent his security guards to kick me out. We deserve better.