Senile Don Draper

Parity account. 92 years old and still the top pitchman in the business. 93 years old. top pitchman. i spilled scotch on me.

[Senile Don Draper @SenileDonDraper]

I will make America both great-tasting and less-filling again. #Draper2016

[Senile Don Draper @SenileDonDraper]

There’s something happening here. What it is ain’t exactly beer.

Coors.

[Senile Don Draper @SenileDonDraper]

Ponderosa Steakhouse. It’s inside you now.

[Senile Don Draper @SenileDonDraper]

X. Is this porno? Squinting at the app I can’t tell but if I don’t see some skin in about 15 seconds this phone is going right out the window

[Senile Don Draper @SenileDonDraper]

X. The company you trust to do whatever it is we say we do.

[Senile Don Draper @SenileDonDraper]

Let me give you a picture. Imagine the sound of being castrated by your own zipper. That's the manly sound of X.

[Senile Don Draper @SenileDonDraper]

I don't care if it's early. Musk keeps the lights on. Let's get this pitch session going.

X. It's for assholes.

Peggy, why is my coffee untainted by vodka

[Senile Don Draper @SenileDonDraper]

You can’t sell a white checkmark for eight dollars. You have to make them think it’s blue first.

[Senile Don Draper @SenileDonDraper]

Everybody Hertz.

[A.R. Moxon 🦋 @JuliusGoat]

I write stuff. Some thousands of people like it, it seems. You might like it, too.

Pay whatever you want down to $0. (Discounts in the linked page.) The paid member's version of The Reframe is the same as the unpaid version.

So why pay? Glad you asked.
https://t.co/6BND1sX5SF

[Senile Don Draper @SenileDonDraper]

Look. I’m all for diversification. But how many kinds of goddamn Oreos do you people need?

[Senile Don Draper @SenileDonDraper]

Nonplussed Cucumber Water.

It's Fulsome!

[Senile Don Draper @SenileDonDraper]

Twitter. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.

[Senile Don Draper @SenileDonDraper]

In my day you didn’t need a blue checkmark to prove you were a man. There was only one “verified” badge that mattered: a liver the size of a school bus.

[Senile Don Draper @SenileDonDraper]

Peggy where in the horse milky FUCK did my verified blue checky go.

[Senile Don Draper @SenileDonDraper]

Taco Bell’s Cannon.

Your move, Chipotle.

[Senile Don Draper @SenileDonDraper]

Don't tell me it can't be sadder, Peggy. Sadder is what paid for my sixth wife's fourth beach house.

[Senile Don Draper @SenileDonDraper]

DraftKings. They said gambling couldn't be made sadder than fantasy sports. We got out the welding torch.

[Senile Don Draper @SenileDonDraper]

The strong survive.
The weak are forgotten.
What you do today will echo in eternity.

Great deals on TVs at Best Buy.

[Senile Don Draper @SenileDonDraper]

Cancer doesn't kill people. People kill people.

Dow Chemical.

[Senile Don Draper @SenileDonDraper]

If you find yourself in an @Applebees, you have the right to ask if you are being detained or if you are free to go.