Dominic Sesto

I was just wondering are you fucking kidding me

[Dominic Sesto @SESTIT0]

Remember in elementary school when your teacher asked you to write a Brief Constructed Repsonse and you wished god would strike you down in your chair

[Dominic Sesto @SESTIT0]

Being an adult is mainly just doing an obnoxiously loud dress shoes walk on linoleum or hard wood floors.

[Dominic Sesto @SESTIT0]

If think if you go below the speed limit on any major highway you should be immediately raptured

[Dominic Sesto @SESTIT0]

Gazebos are dumb.

[Dominic Sesto @SESTIT0]

It’s 2024 and Yankee Candle still hasn’t made a candle that smells like the inside of a Subway

[Dominic Sesto @SESTIT0]

Why would a urinal have a dual flush handle if I’m not supposed to take a dump in it?

[Dominic Sesto @SESTIT0]

Why do those automated appointment messages make you reply YES in all caps? Makes me look like I literally can’t wait to visit the dentist.

[Dominic Sesto @SESTIT0]

@UpYourAllie It was

[Dominic Sesto @SESTIT0]

Absolutely No One: …

My Mind: Oh shit I was a Christmas sex baby wasn’t I

[Dominic Sesto @SESTIT0]

@MerriweatherPP Y’all gonna let everyone know it’s completely cancelled now or

[Dominic Sesto @SESTIT0]

Do animal actors know that they’re better than the other animals?

[Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti]

As a kid, I learned so much from Blue's Clues. Like paprika is what happens when salt and pepper fuck.

[Dominic Sesto @SESTIT0]

Rage room but instead of smashing stuff you just light the whole room on fire

[Dominic Sesto @SESTIT0]

Hey can things start going well for no reason for once thank you

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Amazon Fires Employees Who Didn’t Clock Out After Getting Buried In Rubble https://t.co/D99zHUOjHn

[Dominic Sesto @SESTIT0]

@SeanN0TShawn If it helps I have no idea what I’m doing at all

[Dominic Sesto @SESTIT0]

Godspeed to everyone that has to put the leaf in the table today

[Abhi @abhimishh]

Apt.

[ClickHole @ClickHole]

Fuck’s He Trying To Prove? This Kid’s Friend Who Stayed For Dinner Just Rinsed Off His Plate And Put It In Dishwasher https://t.co/JIr39nnZHf

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Ethical Hunter Throws Duck He Shot Back Into Sky https://t.co/mZ8AcDOStb