Sevvy Hounds

An online comedy series about disillusioned office workers with one goal: to get laid off & paid off.

[Sevvy Hounds @SevvyHounds]

Around this time of year, everyone in the office seems to be 'working' at a severance-worthy pace. Welcome to the party.

[Sevvy Hounds @SevvyHounds]

Only two dueling jackasses like Trent and Melvin can pioneer a mix of babies and alcohol without fail. Episode 2... http://t.co/AOmRdeAY

[Sevvy Hounds @SevvyHounds]

The Hounds' next power move: getting all up in your television set! First episode premieres on Bay Area cable and... http://t.co/PHXMNgm5

[Sevvy Hounds @SevvyHounds]

Monday morning meeting = morale bomb. No survivors.

[Sevvy Hounds @SevvyHounds]

I'd like to see what'd happen if the caffeine supply was cut off in this office for just one day. From a safe fucking distance of course.

[Sevvy Hounds @SevvyHounds]

Fuck it, I'm gonna start selling disaster tourism tickets to the men's bathroom here. Maybe a 2-for-1 deal w/ the Chernobyl folks.

[Sevvy Hounds @SevvyHounds]

Liquid lunch kind of day.

[Sevvy Hounds @SevvyHounds]

Liquid lunch kind of day.

[Sevvy Hounds @SevvyHounds]

Company blocked all social media sites. Now everyone spends 2-3x the time checking them by phone. Another mgmt win. #nftc

[Sevvy Hounds @SevvyHounds]

Nothing more annoying than the office girl scout cookie peddler who won't take 'no' for an answer. Enjoy: http://t.co/eAqJ1eOz

[Sevvy Hounds @SevvyHounds]

Today's office forecast: a thick fog of desperation in the morning, eventually giving way to a full-fledged shitstorm by the afternoon.

[Sevvy Hounds @SevvyHounds]

There are actually a few talented folks in this office. Not sure how that happened.

[Sevvy Hounds @SevvyHounds]

Buzzing fluorescent light. Vending machine packed w/ inedibles from '86. Thoroughly unclean surfaces. Nuked fish odor. Break room ambiance!

[Sevvy Hounds @SevvyHounds]

Flashing red voice mail light after lunch? Someone will pay for this.

[Sevvy Hounds @SevvyHounds]

So we gots us a Blip Channel. It's all shiny and episode-filled. Check her out: http://t.co/bRLk0zyd

[Sevvy Hounds @SevvyHounds]

This tweet just accomplished more than our senior mgmt team has since 2007, their massive fuckups and cash baths excluded.

[Sevvy Hounds @SevvyHounds]

As the workday draws to a close, I don’t watch the clock so much as glare at it with the intensity of 1000 angry suns.

[Sevvy Hounds @SevvyHounds]

I don’t believe in busy work. Which shows consistency & integrity, since I also don’t believe in being busy nor in doing work.

[Sevvy Hounds @SevvyHounds]

Oh, I’m sorry. When I said I’d get right on that, I meant I’d totally fucking ignore it. Simple communication breakdown on your part.

[Sevvy Hounds @SevvyHounds]

I hate to break it to you, but your shitty ideas didn’t become any better when you crammed them into PowerPoint & added chevrons.