couch money

future ghost, current nimrod.

[couch money @SharkHands]

Ok where are my swear warriors at? Let us cuss.

[couch money @SharkHands]

at the bar and naked and afraid is on. Trying not to look so people don’t think I’m a hoarny perv

[couch money @SharkHands]

I’m afraid if I had even a little bit of money I would have too many lizards

[couch money @SharkHands]

Typing “wow I just got chills” but it keeps correcting to “Chili’s”

[couch money @SharkHands]

@klemmteastwood Thanks!

[couch money @SharkHands]

Not watching the Oscar’s but I just heard while presenting an award Chappel Roan was wearing a dress only being held on by a butt plug. Is this true?

[couch money @SharkHands]

Convincing “they a clone” people that they’re actually a clone because I remember a time when they weren’t such a weird dipshit.

[couch money @SharkHands]

I couldn’t be in a situationship. Maybe a circumstanceship

[couch money @SharkHands]

I don’t know how many more “damn that’s crazy” in me.

[couch money @SharkHands]

Landman’s got to be one of the worst shows and I keep watching it.

[couch money @SharkHands]

My sons Gunner, Ryder and Topper (Top Ramen) are doing community service for throwing car batteries in the Cumberland river

[couch money @SharkHands]

*getting a home cooked meal by a loving partner*

Me: AI slop again?

[couch money @SharkHands]

*walks into urologists office casually*

Mm, yes, I would like to get the circumcision. Just a little off the top. The Ocky way, please.

[couch money @SharkHands]

AI has spoken. If I get skinny, im suggested to bring ugly gamer bf. I’ll remain handsome and fat

[couch money @SharkHands]

My music has been leaning towards aging line cook this week.

[couch money @SharkHands]

Back in my day there wasn’t any “uwu” you stub ur foot on an anvil and screamed in a high pitch “OWOOOWWWWW” and a small mouse came out and laughed at you. This is why your generation will never own a house.

[couch money @SharkHands]

My entire ig feed is Chinese conversion memes and reels.

[couch money @SharkHands]

It’s like chewing on an apple at an archery range.

[couch money @SharkHands]

I really wanna play bird game
3

[couch money @SharkHands]

Perm haired, moustached 20 year old with rosacea walking in smelling like perfume and fart. He says dead ass 6 times in 3 mins. Wyd?