I don’t want to write this. Writing it makes it final. I’ve known since yesterday, but it still doesn’t seem real. I needed to be alone with my thoughts before I could post something publicly. Every time I read another post it seems wrong, like it hasn’t happened, like I’ll still get a text from Adam any moment now. But I won’t, he is gone.
I just talked with him was when he was in Disneyland Paris. We were remembering our time in Disneyland 10 years ago when we saw Dick Van Dyke dancing and singing on the balcony of Club 33 for his 90th birthday. We were making plans for when he got back into town. But now that hang out won’t happen. I miss him.
He was the only friend I’ve had in a long time that made me laugh for hours on end. The type of friend that when you start laughing with each other you fall into them and sort of bounce off each other. I’ve never had that with any other guy friend.
I will always remember this time at Disneyland when we were trying to throw a coin into the cup in the queue for the Snow White ride. Adam made one and shouted “I’m going to live forever!” From then on he would always message me anytime “Forever Young” came on the radio or was playing at some random location he was at.
He really will live forever, because I will never forget him.
The Tortured Poets Department. An anthology of new works that reflect events, opinions and sentiments from a fleeting and fatalistic moment in time - one that was both sensational and sorrowful in equal measure. This period of the author’s life is now over, the chapter closed and boarded up. There is nothing to avenge, no scores to settle once wounds have healed. And upon further reflection, a good number of them turned out to be self-inflicted. This writer is of the firm belief that our tears become holy in the form of ink on a page. Once we have spoken our saddest story, we can be free of it.
And then all that’s left behind is the tortured poetry.
THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT is out now: https://t.co/PzuwWnatO7