Sheldon Cooper

I'm a Caltech theoretical physicist with a B.S., M.S., M.A., Ph.D. And a Sc.D OMG Right? Bazinga!

[Sheldon Cooper @SheldonCJokes]

Im not a huge fan of biology, but there will always be a special place in my heart for pumping blood to organs and muscles.

[Sheldon Cooper @SheldonCJokes]

Breathtaking view of the Milky Way as seen from Mars.

[Sheldon Cooper @SheldonCJokes]

I've just been to see Twilight, it was brilliant!

Bazinga! You've just fallen victim to another one of my classic practical jokes.

[Sheldon Cooper @SheldonCJokes]

Lets assume your looks are average. Right off the bat 50% of men are more attractive than you, that's 1.5 billion handsome lads…

[Sheldon Cooper @SheldonCJokes]

*Knock Knock Knock*, Penny…
*Knock Knock Knock*, Penny…
*Knock Knock Knock*, Penny…

[Sheldon Cooper @SheldonCJokes]

Soft 🐱,
Warm 😽,
Little ⚽ of fur.
Happy 😺,
Sleepy 😸💤,
Purr purr purr.

[Sheldon Cooper @SheldonCJokes]

Always be yourself, except when you can be Batman. Then be Batman

[Sheldon Cooper @SheldonCJokes]

I'm not saying I'm batman, I'm just saying nobody has ever seen me and batman in the same room.

[Sheldon Cooper @SheldonCJokes]

I was going to tell a sodium and hydrogen pun,

But NaH.