Swaggaroni & Cheese

Social genius w a zen marinated heart. My career is gambling. Intellectual introvert. Comedian of life. Jokes and cheesy sentiments of love.

[Swaggaroni & Cheese @ShellySwagger]

This is how I laugh when I'm the only conservative in the room.

[Swaggaroni & Cheese @ShellySwagger]

When I listen to anti-Trump protestors speak...

[The Cultured Ruffian @CulturedRuffian]

When someone starts talking politics and you want to strangle them but you're trying to be a nice person.

[Swaggaroni & Cheese @ShellySwagger]

We're gunna hafta legalize weed... The Mexican border is aboutta close.

[Swaggaroni & Cheese @ShellySwagger]

When you're already late to work and your ride is speeding, cuz they're the reason you're late in the first place...

[Swaggaroni & Cheese @ShellySwagger]

Can you have an automatic and involuntary repulsion to people with special needs and be a good person at the same time?

[Swaggaroni & Cheese @ShellySwagger]

When you wanna wreck someone's whole world, but it's not the internet, where you can say what you want.

[Swaggaroni & Cheese @ShellySwagger]

When you realize all it takes to have swagger is to believe you've got swagger...

[Swaggaroni & Cheese @ShellySwagger]

When you get your period and you spent a month forgetting it even existed...

[Swaggaroni & Cheese @ShellySwagger]

The world is wild. It's ok to be scared. The trick is not letting it show.

[Swaggaroni & Cheese @ShellySwagger]

Sometimes history repeats itself. Sometimes the world is changed forever. Both realities exist at the same time, sometimes.

[Swaggaroni & Cheese @ShellySwagger]

@therealdonaldtrump Would you please calm the liberals and the LGBTQ community down? They have no chill!

[Swaggaroni & Cheese @ShellySwagger]

@Th1ngsWeHate Hillary got grabbed by the...

[Swaggaroni & Cheese @ShellySwagger]

When Chuck Norris said he was voting for Trump, America fell in line!

[Swaggaroni & Cheese @ShellySwagger]

@realDonaldTrump Trump voters,trying to play it cool...

[Swaggaroni & Cheese @ShellySwagger]

@GingerGander I think he promised her the election for taking the blame for his mistakes. That's the bargain and his end is failing.

[Swaggaroni & Cheese @ShellySwagger]

@realDonaldTrump I think he told her that if she takes all the blame for his mistakes, he'll make sure she's elected.

[Just Bill @WilliamAder]

This "The Cubs Go to the World Series" is the best episode of Black Mirror yet.