Shenoute of Atripe

I was abbot of the White Monastery in Egypt for 80 years back in the fourth and fifth centuries. You'll see me among the saints on judgment day.

[Shenoute of Atripe @Shenoute]

PSA: Can we quit urinating in jars without consulting the elder first? I was using one of those.

[Shenoute of Atripe @Shenoute]

A terrible thing has happened this morning in Cairo. We ask, "Why, O Lord?" But we must also remember that the Lord always prevails. #oujai

[Shenoute of Atripe @Shenoute]

Indeed there will be no robbery for me when I carry out your gods quietly. Plus I will leave a little surprise on your doorstep.

[Shenoute of Atripe @Shenoute]

@drewjakeprof Only the spiritually weak think this response is adequate penance #kidsthesedays @SarahEBond @EurasianMssIowa @BabelAlexandria

[Shenoute of Atripe @Shenoute]

@drewjakeprof You are accursed, who reveal your pagan ways by uttering such foul magic! @SarahEBond @EurasianMssIowa @BabelAlexandria

[Shenoute of Atripe @Shenoute]

@emuehlbe Do you still require assistance? My scribe is always willing to recopy my works.

[Shenoute of Atripe @Shenoute]

@emuehlbe @taycross What gave the impression that my silence did not communicate scorn?

[Shenoute of Atripe @Shenoute]

@JannisGrossman Do I not speak to you in this present time?

[Shenoute of Atripe @Shenoute]

@drewjakeprof As it should be. I am not amazed.

[Shenoute of Atripe @Shenoute]

Those affected by the Panama Papers are learning the lesson my monks always have to: Nothing stays a secret forever. #surveillance #pro

[Shenoute of Atripe @Shenoute]

@bkrawiec1 Do they weave for me as sisters for a brother, or as barbarians for a barbarian?

[Shenoute of Atripe @Shenoute]

Once again, my clothes do not fit. Are the nuns doing this on purpose?

[Shenoute of Atripe @Shenoute]

@TheScottRushing @emuehlbe @drewjakeprof I see no reason why that would not be the case.

[Shenoute of Atripe @Shenoute]

@MBinAmsterdam What is there to say? God is the one who chooses the moment of death.

[Shenoute of Atripe @Shenoute]

Twitter wants me to provide a phone number. Woe to the monk who has a phone! Especially if his ring tone is "Hips Don't Lie." #abomination

[Shenoute of Atripe @Shenoute]

@drewjakeprof @davidbrakkeosu I am glad to see he knows his place.

[Shenoute of Atripe @Shenoute]

Spotted yet another tattoo that says "Only God can judge me." Well, yes--that's why I only use His standards.

[Shenoute of Atripe @Shenoute]

@jacopocomin @ctschroeder Yes, I am aware of this travesty. How dare these Gnostic heretics borrow my words!

[Shenoute of Atripe @Shenoute]

@ctschroeder @copticscript @davidbrakkeosu Were I in the body, I would teach you "luminaries" a thing or two.

[Shenoute of Atripe @Shenoute]

@davidbrakkeosu @douglasboin Hey, the law is the law. Gesios had it coming.