Shit_my_students_say

From cultural differences to age gaps Here is everything my young Chinese students say that make most lessons a dream ✨💥 Slytherin & Proud 🐍

[Shit_my_students_say @Shitmystudents8]

Me: can you make a sentence with the word “sympathise”?

12yo: I sympathise with the west but we don’t need military intervention

[Shit_my_students_say @Shitmystudents8]

6yo: how old are you?

Me: I’m 23

6yo: *counts on fingers to 23*

6yo: it took me a long time to count to 23 you’re old

[Shit_my_students_say @Shitmystudents8]

7yo always shows me her new toys before class. This time it’s 4 🦋

Me: should we give jobs to your 🦋? (Learning about occupations)

7yo: yes! Pretty is a princess, Surprise is a queen, Blue Blue is a king and Plum is a doctor.

They’re all jobs alright

[Shit_my_students_say @Shitmystudents8]

Me: what does your hamster eat?

5yo: rice and corpse!

Me: .....

5yo’s mum: corn... he means corn....

[Shit_my_students_say @Shitmystudents8]

Same student did me a nose boop at the end of class today so it’s fair to say I’d die for him

[Shit_my_students_say @Shitmystudents8]

Me: how are you today?

6yo: I am very happy today because I get to see you

Me: *ugly crying*

[Shit_my_students_say @Shitmystudents8]

Me: how are you today?

6yo: I am very happy today because I get to see you

Me: *ugly crying*

[Shit_my_students_say @Shitmystudents8]

8yo: do you have a baby?

Me: no I don’t

8yo: why?

Me: because I don’t want one yet

8yo: do you have a boyfriend?

Me: no

8yo: so that’s why you don’t have a baby

#roasted

[Shit_my_students_say @Shitmystudents8]

7yo: what’s this?

Me: it’s an mp3...

7yo: what does it do?

[Shit_my_students_say @Shitmystudents8]

5yo keeps doing a hair flip every time she answers a question correctly

[Shit_my_students_say @Shitmystudents8]

The #animals according to a 5yo:

🦔 : hegdog

🦀: clap

🐒: money

🐻: beer

🦁: lying

🦊: fucks

[Shit_my_students_say @Shitmystudents8]

I use my tablet as a whiteboard in online classes because I go through too many notebooks

5yo: your phone is so big
Me: that’s my pad, my phone isn’t that big
5yo: why do you have both?

Because #capitalism sucks but we’re all its slaves ok don’t call me out like that

[Shit_my_students_say @Shitmystudents8]

The concept of “20 years” explained by a 8yo

“20 years??? You go from small child to small mummy”

[Shit_my_students_say @Shitmystudents8]

@Nikicharal She was also wearing a pink dress and had piggy tails and it somehow made the whole thing more threatening??

[Shit_my_students_say @Shitmystudents8]

Learning the letter Dd

Me: what’s this?

7yo: a dog

Me: yay! Do you like dogs?

7yo: no

Me: uum, what animal do you like?

7yo: leopard

Me: oh. Tell me another word that starts with D

7yo: destroy

I’m officially disturbed

[Shit_my_students_say @Shitmystudents8]

Me: do you know this word? Nagging.

7yo: yes! It’s when my dad drinks beer and my mum tells him to stop drinking

😳

[Shit_my_students_say @Shitmystudents8]

7yo showed up for class today in full princess Elsa costume including heels

wig = snatched

[Shit_my_students_say @Shitmystudents8]

learning "be afraid of"

Me: what are you afraid of? The dark? Spiders?

8yo: uuuuuum....... global warming

WTF

[Shit_my_students_say @Shitmystudents8]

Learning the word “ceiling”

7yo: what colour is your ceiling?

Me: pink

7yo: Y?

Me: I was very little when I chose the colour

7yo: Y do you like pink?

Me: Now I don’t

7yo: Y don’t you paint it white?

Me: it’s too much effort

7yo: you weren’t a very wise kid

#roasted

[Shit_my_students_say @Shitmystudents8]

Fruit reimagined by my student

🍒: checkle

🍍: papple

🍉: watermen

🍑 🍑: bitches

[Shit_my_students_say @Shitmystudents8]

Mispronunciation of the day:

Fix—> F*cks