Shit Ryan Says

My name is Megan and this is all the stupid (Silly) shit my Husband says

[Shit Ryan Says @ShitRyanBSayss]

"Hey Megan, how do you get a country girl to like you?"
"You a tractor" 🙃🙄🙄
#ShitRyanSays

[Shit Ryan Says @ShitRyanBSayss]

Ryan looked at me and said I looked like a ninja with my giant sweater wrapped around me, hair up in a weird bun and then said no, more like a sumo wrestler.
#9monthspregnant #shitryansays

[Shit Ryan Says @ShitRyanBSayss]

Found out I am 1cm dilated today and sent my husband a text after we both just left the clinic to reiterate how excited I am. His response 😂 #shitryansays

[Shit Ryan Says @ShitRyanBSayss]

Ryan made me spit Gatorade out of my nose. He told me to have some nuts for my iron, and he had the tub of nuts in his crotch. He then laughed a LOT and when he was done laughing at how funny he is, he says: "We're adults!" 🙄 #shitryansays

[Shit Ryan Says @ShitRyanBSayss]

"I'm not used to this isolation. Now my way of life is socially acceptable, in fact, its preferred. If they would have listened to me no one would be sick, but there are millions, MILLIONS!"

#shitryansays

[Shit Ryan Says @ShitRyanBSayss]

Ryan said he bought me back presents from his work trip. He calls them, gifts from the road 😂😂 #shitryansays #giftsfromtheroad

[Shit Ryan Says @ShitRyanBSayss]

"Oh god, I'm not gonna wake up at 3am to get you pickled ice cream!"

One of the first few things my husband said when I told him I'm pregnant.

#ShitRyanSays #Wereexpecting

[Shit Ryan Says @ShitRyanBSayss]

"The ovulation test came back positive! We need to start bumpin uglies!"

"I CANT PREFORM UNDER THIS PRESSURE!"

#ShitRyanSays

[Shit Ryan Says @ShitRyanBSayss]

"I didn't eat all your whoppers! There's still one left!"

#shitryansays

[Shit Ryan Says @ShitRyanBSayss]

"I'm gonna wear tights I think."

"Yeah! That way, you don't even have to shave your legs!"

I married this man because he knows me best.

#ShitRyanSays

[Shit Ryan Says @ShitRyanBSayss]

Randomly walks in the room and says this.. all in one breath, then dies laughing and walks away.

"I challenge you to being a bitch contest.. OH .. You win! " #shitryansays

[Shit Ryan Says @ShitRyanBSayss]

"Happy birthday.... So where's my breakfast?" - #shitryansays

[Shit Ryan Says @ShitRyanBSayss]

"what are these? LEG STRIP-Y THINGS?!" (He means wax strips)

"No Ryan, its lint roller paper."

"WELL I DON'T KNOW, WOMEN ARE WEIRD!"

#shitryansays

[Shit Ryan Says @ShitRyanBSayss]

"Look Ryan, I bought new underwear!"

"Da arse is out of er'!"

#ShitRyanSays #bayman

[Shit Ryan Says @ShitRyanBSayss]

"Never in my life would I think I would spend 3 days in a bar, but here I am. Day time bar is weird a depressing."

Ryan on fixing a chain bars computer system.

#ShitRyanSays

[Shit Ryan Says @ShitRyanBSayss]

"We've been together for 10 years as of tomorrow. Sooo, happy anniversary thing I guess?"

"Uh, no, we got married, we dont celebrate that anniversary anymore."

"HAPPY BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND 10YR ANNIVERSARY BABE."

"NO. WE DONT DO THAT ANNIVERSARY ANYMORE I SAID."

#ShitRyanSays

[Shit Ryan Says @ShitRyanBSayss]

Ryan just dropped a giant bag of Costco chocolate covered almonds and yelled "EASTER CAME EARLY, EASTER EGG HUNT."

#ShitRyanSays

[Shit Ryan Says @ShitRyanBSayss]

"You're going to turn into a chip, you eat them too much." -Ryan

"Would still love me as a chip?" -Me

"I'll have to think about it." -Ryan

#ShitRyanSays

[Shit Ryan Says @ShitRyanBSayss]

I tell Ryan to get a plate for the pizza and he says "Its already on a plate. Society calls it a pizza pan, but I call it a plate. You're talking to a professional eater here."
#ShitRyanSays