Døucheblahblah

let’s be friends —

[Døucheblahblah @Shivanah]

I’m feeling fertile

[Nicole Nichelle @alamanecer]

I see Chris Evans is WHORRING IT UP on his lil piano again. STOP THIS!!! We’re dying out here 😫 https://t.co/8Rs0Y9u31o

[Resko★ @Bloke_Baz]

you relax for 30 minutes after work and next thing you know it’s 10pm😭

[𝖓❦™️ @kushb6rbie]

a lot of socializing involves performative interest and i simply do not give a shit

[Ariana Jasmine @arianajasmine__]

So Russia is banned from FIFA because of their invasion of Ukraine, but America is allowed to HOST THE FIFA GAMES WHILE BOMBING IRAN???

HOW DOES THAT WORK?????

[27. @dimvji]

the older i get the more i appreciate being out of the loop. i don’t want to know anything about anyone

[𝟮𝟭.🛸 @Big_tagg]

when you realize you overshared with a gossipy person

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

I’m sick and tired of people mocking those who care about the planet. Clean air matters. Living forests matter. Healthy oceans matter. Animals matter. Biodiversity matters. Wanting a livable world for future generations should not be controversial.

[𝙩𝙚𝙗𝙤𝙜𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙤 @simplytee23]

It sucks when a girl asks for a random toiletry and you don’t have it, like sorry I failed you…😭

[Mads @europemaxxed]

dream job??
unemployed with a mysterious source of wealth

[Zabby ♡ @Africanzabby]

idk how y’all be having rosters these niggas suck

[Gale Na @poisonjr]

I haven't heard a single word from her since inauguration but every day there's a bill that's just total scorched earth against the republican party. This is the funniest governor we've ever had

[autist @litteralyme0]

Me trying to figure out why 10 people who died without leaving a trace were all linked to the same top secret nuclear project

[Documenting Saylor @saylordocs]

Typical Gen Z Bank Statement:

$2,500 rent
$12 lunch
$450 student loan payment
$26 Uber
$1,500 medical bill
$8 coffee
$600 car payment

The issue is obvious. Had they made their coffee at home, they could have saved $7.

[rose @wynrosei]

Grown ass man jealous of a cat

[Jenni @hashjenni]

Is the world really going to have to suffer WW3 because the USA can’t impeach a president?

[✨☁️🎀 𝓮𝓶𝓶𝓪 🎀☁️✨ @emmamurabito]

somewhere out there there’s a dude who makes $20k a year who’s mad about this

[stace 🐞 @staystaystace]

fork found in kitchen