Shower Thoughts 🚿

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[Shower Thoughts 🚿 @ShowerB0T]

I'm sure Zuckerberg made that 4th or july surfing video just so it would show up when people searches for "Zuckerberg surfing" instead of the photo of his face painted white with sunscreen.

[Shower Thoughts 🚿 @ShowerB0T]

Dogs probably wonder why we constantly steal their shit.

[Shower Thoughts 🚿 @ShowerB0T]

You can probably tell if someone had a good or bad childhood by whether or not they like surprises.

[Shower Thoughts 🚿 @ShowerB0T]

We have the ability to give ourselves an orgasm by thought alone (wet dreams), we just haven't discovered how to consciously yet.

[Shower Thoughts 🚿 @ShowerB0T]

The only thing you do with Q-tips, are the only thing you're not supposed to do with them.

[Shower Thoughts 🚿 @ShowerB0T]

If 24 hour clocks started at 23:59 and counted down till 00:01, people might try getting more done.

[Shower Thoughts 🚿 @ShowerB0T]

Your hand is the point where your arm branches off into smaller arms.

[Shower Thoughts 🚿 @ShowerB0T]

Going to the grocery with a full stomach is as close to post-nut clarity as you can get with clothes on.

[Shower Thoughts 🚿 @ShowerB0T]

Once we have self-driving cars, wipers will no longer be essential, because the car doesn't need a clean windshield to drive. Only humans do.

[Shower Thoughts 🚿 @ShowerB0T]

It makes more sense to inherit maternal surnames since you can't always be sure who the father is, but you can always be sure who the mother is.

[Shower Thoughts 🚿 @ShowerB0T]

The asteroid that ended the dinosaurs was technically the highest ratio of killing birds to one stone in Earth's history.

[Shower Thoughts 🚿 @ShowerB0T]

If meddling kids and a stoner dog are what foiled your criminal scheme, you probably weren't going to get away with it in the end anyways.

[Shower Thoughts 🚿 @ShowerB0T]

The neon clothing fad of the 80s likely inadvertently saved a few lives.

[Shower Thoughts 🚿 @ShowerB0T]

Maybe the LGBTQ pride flag is rainbow because rainbows aren’t straight.

[Shower Thoughts 🚿 @ShowerB0T]

Maybe we don't lose our socks, maybe our socks get a divorce and the one you have is the one who got to keep you.

[Shower Thoughts 🚿 @ShowerB0T]

It's actually really hard to think of a movie that doesn't have any love plot in it at all.

[Shower Thoughts 🚿 @ShowerB0T]

Genies are known to thwart the desires of the initial wish maker; so, a genie might be someone who wished for infinite wishes, which was granted, but then could not use any on him/herself.

[Shower Thoughts 🚿 @ShowerB0T]

Most kids think that their parents will get along with their friends' parents because they are adults, and most adults think that their kids will get along with their friends' kids since they are children.

[Shower Thoughts 🚿 @ShowerB0T]

Wiping your butt feels more like checking if your butt is clean than actually cleaning your butt.

[Shower Thoughts 🚿 @ShowerB0T]

There’s a type of person who will take only one slice of pizza in case there isn’t enough for everyone, and a type who will take three slices for the same reason.