austin

GoldSteps

[Amiri King @AmiriKing]

My toddler loves Monsters Inc. especially Mike Wazowski.

Yesterday I was in Walmart and came across this cool t-shirt.

I immediately bought it, put it on in the car, and rushed home to show my toddler.

I hunted her down as soon as I came through the door.

She was sitting on the couch watching Hogi and eating Goldfish crackers.

I said, ‘Libby check out my cool new shirt!’

I was beaming. I just knew she was gonna think my shirt was the coolest shit ever.

She looked at me, looked at my shirt, scoffed, and yelled, ‘GO AWAY!’

Listen.

I don’t think we talk enough about what huge pieces of shit toddlers are.

That’s literally my TV you are watching.
I paid for those Goldfish crackers.
That’s my fucking couch.

I bought this cool t-shirt ONLY because of you.

And this is your response you f#ggot piece of sh!t??

You are wearing a shirt with a turtle on it that says, ‘Turtley Adorable’ you fuck!ng idiot.

You are broke.
Homeless.
Have poor life skills.
You can’t even fucking speak English.

You are basically a Somali immigrant only brighter in complexion and with much less forehead mass.

I’ll wipe my ass with this shirt.

Fuck this shirt.

Bitch nigga.

Your mom is fat.

[prideful pip @fortnitebombpup]

the biggest isaac mod got turned into an official dlc and the biggest terraria mod has had 6 pedophile owners

[John Bummit, PhD. @JohnBummit]

My landlord about to charge me for pets, the way you got a nigga barking

[phlip @MrPerfectPhilip]

No grandma the girls don’t think I’m handsome they think I’m retarded

[Shasti @sh44sti]

they’re doing the janky dark souls 1 pvp backstab exploit on me at work tomorrow

[dogpoasting @evilsockz]

Can u back up dude? Ur a little close man. Hey thanks. I appreciate it. Sorry if I came off kinda rude just then

[Soulja Boy @souljaboy]

You a bitch @KaiCenat

[Medieval Diesel @TimothyEveland]

We're missing out big time

[𝔤𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔢 ‹𝟹 @gracedmoons]

this video is actually killing me

[𝙵𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚣 @Not_Fritz_]

Night chat

[Matty McTech @setupspawn]

This is the AI that will be taking your job

[Paige @GRUGCEL]

im ngl sometimes i slam the door hard to proc my neighbours loud barking dog to trigger crying baby