Simon Poole

I am a mild mannered janitor who owns more records than any of you lot (apart from you, you and you) and can hold my own in both crude and humorous banter.

[Simon Poole @SiFPoole]

@carryonkeith It's a rapidly growing trend.

[Simon Poole @SiFPoole]

@RishiSunak just accused @Keir_Starmer of reading from a script. In other news, a kettle has been accused of being black by a pot. #PMQs #PMQ #costofliving #GeneralElectionNow #torylies

[Simon Poole @SiFPoole]

@sobanoodle @jessphillips Exactly! Wie findest du Vox Populi?

[Simon Poole @SiFPoole]

Happy bunch at #PMQ today. @RishiSunak @Conservatives #PrimeMinister #parliament @bbcnews

[Simon Poole @SiFPoole]

@englandcricket owe it to the paying spectators to give them as much entertainment as possible, so if @benstokes38 needs to be protected, Harry Brook should be promoted to fill his boots. #ENGvIRE #ENGvsIRE #harrybrook #EnglandCricket @bbctms

[Simon Poole @SiFPoole]

@HelenBaBauer That story about the exploding man in the wrong bed was fucking epic.

[Simon Poole @SiFPoole]

Glade's new flavour. Strange choice, given that air fresheners are meant to get rid of the smell of raw sewage. @Conservatives @RishiSunak @TheGreenParty #Sewage #SewageScandal #rawsewage @CarolineLucas

[Simon Poole @SiFPoole]

@BBCNews Christ almighty, they either lack any morals or sense of irony.

[Simon Poole @SiFPoole]

Sad circumstances but a thoroughly deserved Top 10 placing for #Insomnia by @faithless in @RadioX Best of British 2023. Greatest commercial trance banger and drop ever. #BestOfBritish #RadioX #Faithless RIEP @KoolDJ_MaxiJazz

[Simon Poole @SiFPoole]

Great to hear @oasis and @ArcticMonkeys getting some long overdue recognition on this year's @RadioX Top 100 British Songs of all time. 🤣😄😅 #BestOfBritish #RadioX @PollyJames

[Simon Poole @SiFPoole]

I hear that @Peter_Shilton and @mattletiss7 are being lined up as the #MOTD equivalent of @trussliz and @KwasiKwarteng as Hobson's Hopeless Choice. @BBCMOTD @bbcnews @GaryLineker @alanshearer @IanWright0

[Simon Poole @SiFPoole]

@AldiUK, you have surpassed yourselves! Tastes like the original Brewcat too. #aldi #CostOfLiving #fakeaway

[Simon Poole @SiFPoole]

The victorious lettuce is insisting that the Brexit vote is rerun immediately.

The two choices will be leaf or romaine.
#lettuceWins #torychaos #LettuceForPM #lettuce @trussliz @Conservatives #GeneralElectionNow

[Simon Poole @SiFPoole]

Liz Truss in the 25th Century. #buckrogers #twiki #robot #GeneralElectionNow #ToriesOut #TrussOut #trussmustgo #liztruss @trussliz @Conservatives

[Simon Poole @SiFPoole]

This farce must end. General Election Now.#kwasikwarteng #GeneralElectionNow #LizTrussIsNotMyPM #ukchaos #kwartengsacked @KwasiKwarteng @trussliz

[Simon Poole @SiFPoole]

@MartinSLewis Abolishing the top rate of tax will have material benefits for the already mega-wealthy.

Those on £500k will save about £17.5k a year. Won't help single parents pay for their food and energy bills this winter.

[Simon Poole @SiFPoole]

Abolishing the top rate of tax will have material benefits for the already mega-wealthy.

Those on £500k will save about £17.5k a year. Won't help single parents pay for their food and energy bills this winter.

#KwasiKwarteng
#budget
#ToriesOutNow

[Simon Poole @SiFPoole]

I wish the Queen well. There is, however, a certain irony in the news switching from a debate about the energy crisis and whether the wealthy are more valuable than the impoverished in society to blanket coverage of an ailing 96 year old billionaire. #QueenElizabeth

[Simon Poole @SiFPoole]

Interesting contrast between #kyrgios and #Djokovic. Kyrgios' arms are both totally covered in tattoos, while Novak has never let a needle anywhere near his arm. #Wimbledon2022 #WimbledonFinal #djokovicvskyrgios @Wimbledon @BBCSport

[Simon Poole @SiFPoole]

@Simonhartmp *utmost